Bears Give Arm and a Leg for Cutler's Arm

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,

Bears fans rejoiced when hearing that Jay Cutler was coming to Chicago.

Unfortunately for FA Rex Grossman, he's all alone.

Lions fan here....I just want you to know that I'm not bitter, jealous or mad that an inter-division team just got one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL.

Anyway, here is a very polished version of the comment I left over at Sharapova's Thigh in response to their big time Chicago Bears' fan ejaculating words all over the page as a means of expressing his satisfaction about this deal:

First of all, congratu-effing-lations. At first, I was surprised the Bears didn't throw Ashton Kutcher, a lifetime supply of Snickers and Capris Suns into the deal. (I got more on that cougar chasing, picture taking hummer later).

After reading your analysis, it makes a lot more sense as to why the Bears gave up what in my mind is way too much. I know the Broncos are definitely leaning back in their chairs at the Outback Steakhouse with their feet propped up, sipping on some flirtini's thinking they just pulled a fast one on you guys. This is so, because the guy they wanted instead of Cutler, Matt Cassel, got traded (with Vrabel) for just a second round draft pick. Then by some miracle the Broncos go and get three high picks and a decent QB for Cutler who HAD to be traded? Not bad at all. I just would have thought teams seeking Cutler would have had some leverage factor. The Broncos for all intents and purposes HAD to trade Cutler. Oh well. I imagine the Broncos feel exactly like Leonardo Dicrapio did when he was standing on the front of the Titanic.

Moving on, I'm a big believer that QBs can make wide receivers out of kick returners, so naturally, I think your Hester point is a valid one. I definitely see Hester shooting up fantasy draft boards because Cutler will be able to use his speed a little more. I don't want to even think about how much better this is going to make Matt Forte. I have to stop talking about it or else I'm going to make some fresh stew chunks on my keyboard.

I will finish by saying, I'm not TOO bitter about this. I'm so thankful the Lions didn't give up that many picks because Bobby Layne knows we need every pick we have. And as much as I admittedly wanted Jay Cutler, it's downright terrifying knowing that if Millen (gag) were still under the helm, we would have definitely landed him. Of course, he probably would have given up our #1, #20, third round, and the rights to say Barry Sanders was a Denver Broncos player his entire career and never a Lion. Phew, I'm glad Millen's gone.

So Bears fans, congrats again. We'll see you twice next year.
______________________________________________________________

I told you I would get back to Ashton Kutcher. I think he was awkwardly excited about today's trade. Observe his tweets on twitter (bottom to top--click if you can't see):

These excitable "tweets" are all coming from the same guy I saw in the suite next to me at the Falcons/Saints game earlier this year groping Demi Moore's butt while wearing A FALCONS HAT.

BallHype: hype it up!

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