Testicle Tuesday Hot and Steamy Link Dump

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in



Mommy! I just cooked a mean calzone (hot pocket) that isn't sitting right in my stomach. I have a feeling this is going to be messy and all over the place. The post. The post is going to be messy and all over the place. Get your head out of the toilet!

Speaking of messy poops building up inside me, I'd like to start off by discussing the Pistons six point loss to the Cavs tonight. Now, I didn't actually see the game, and I think my laptop and all the breakables inside my apartment are thankful for that, but I could definitely hear the clanks through the inaudible Gamecast. It was sickening. The only positive the Pistons can take from this game is that they forced (or allowed) the Cavs to play their worst home game of the year. This was even worse than their lone home-loss to the Lakers. Both teams shot a combined 37%. Did I say the game was ugly?

Just when I thought tonight couldn't get any uglier, I was sent a video reminding me of how ugly Greg Ostertag was. In the video Ostertag gets posterized by Michael Jordan (notice Luc Longley jizzing in his pants at the 43 second mark). It's crazy how much Greg Ostertag in all his gumpiness looks sort of like he should be Ohio State's BJ Mullins' father... had only Greg somehow produced a kid with Georghe Muresean.

Sometimes when I'm in a down in the dumps mood I just feel like hitting the bottle hard. I have a problem. Unfortunately, the only bottle I have right now is an empty one sitting on top of my refrigerator, collecting one of my illegitimate child's college fund. I think I have like seven dollars and thirty three cents in there right now. I'm just waiting for the child support phone call. Man, the things I'd do right now for a nice cold glass of Delirium Nocturnum.

Random but relevant movie quote:

"I have no experience but I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in."

I would tag this as a soft toss movie quote. If you know it, name the movie and character in the comments section. Have some pride, don't use Google. First one to answer correctly gets a link during my next dump, if it's feeling like a lucky barry day.


Some BREAKING NEWS tonight, it has been reported that Jay Cutler is officially on the block and six teams have already expressed interest in him. As you can see from that list, good news for us Lions fans who still want Cutler to marry us. I would almost undoubtedly give up any pick in our draft for Cutler, perhaps even packaged with some other player on our team. I'd throw in the towel boy too. I probably would not be too keen on the idea of trading more than one pick, though. We need a quarterback, but after seeing the results from Stafford's private workout today perhaps we could get our own Cutler by using just one pick and using our other draft picks to fill the other gaping holes.

Another thing to look forward to is the 'Blogs with Balls' symposium this June. I don't feel like describing it myself so here is the description from their website:

Blogs With Balls is a series of regional social sports blogger and new media gatherings featuring speakers and panelists specifically focused on sports fans, writers, sites, teams, athletes and companies; and their ability to maximize new media outlets for promotion and advancement.

Our first event, Blogs with Balls 1.0, is set to take place on June 13, 2009 in New York City
There are going to be some big name speakers there--Jimmy Traina and Jeff Pearlman to name just a couple; and it seems like it could be a lot of fun. I'm definitely considering it. If you are interested, let me know (detroit4lyfe@gmail.com) or visit BlogswithBalls.com.

Speaking of blogs with manaments hanging low below their pissmiss peebar (I just made that up but it's BALLS hanging below your PENIS), it's the next round in Zoner Sports Best Sports Blog Name Tourney and they are down to their final 12. In case you want to copy me, I'm dishing my votes out to the following blogs:

fellow Detroit blog "The Wayne Fontes Experience,"
"Sharapova's Thigh,"
"Hugging Harold Reynolds,"
"The Sports Hernia,"
"Stanley Cup of Chowder," and
"Pippen Ain't Easy."

Before we end with something inspiring, let's get some more shitty news out of the way. Jeremy Bonderman has been put on the DL and Rick Porcello was hit with a line drive today. Thankfully, Porcello should be just fine. As for Bonderman, let's just hope he knows how to read his rehab properly and wish him well.

Lastly, I'd like you to watch the following segment aired on CBS about Michigan State making it to the Final Four in Detroit and its effects on the struggling state of Michigan. If you're loyalty and heart is as close to home as mine is, this video will surely give you goosebumps.


BallHype: hype it up!

7 comments

haha awesome post. i never thought id be reading a detroit blog regularly. good shi. thanks for the linkage.

That quote is obviously from the wedding singer. Adam Sandler is in the bank talking to the guy from happy gilmore (the."Feelin the flow, doin the bull dance, feelin the flow" guy) but I can't recall his real name

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