Spring Training Bra: Bob Supports Concern for Who Will Round Out the Tigers Rotation, but He Has a Legitimate Answer
Is Porcello ready to pitch in the bigs at the young age of 20 without ever having thrown above A ball?
A lot has been said about who will be toeing the rubber every fifth day for the Tigers to start the season. Dontrelle Willis? Nate Robertson? Zach Miner? Rick Porcello?
Not enough has been said about bringing in someone from the outside. Heck, there looks to be a couple viable options from the Tigers tryouts the other day. #102 and #174 look like they might deserve a look. (Notice #198--awfully nice of the Tigers to let the Eat 'Em Up Tigers legend try out.) What about Kenny Powers? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
I know with the contracts of Willis, Robertson, and Porcello the Tigers hands are probably tied. One of these three guys is going to start the season as the fifth starter and naturally, people are obsessed with talking about it.
Well, I'd like to throw a little chicken mcnugget your way and declare that there is at least one more feasible option for the fifth spot:
ME. You heard that right...Bob Biscigliano.
I bring a little bit of everything to the table that these guys do. I can give you a little bit of Willis, Robertson, Miner, and Porcello combined. For starters, I have Willis' control problems, Robertson's decreasing velocity, Miner's inconsistency, and Porcello's inexperience. In addition to all that, I am very competitive and possess a very diligent work ethic. I hate losing and if I happen to trail late in a game of MLB2k9, I will go that extra mile to turn the game off and restart from scratch. That's how dedicated I am to winning; I don't mind putting in the extra time.
If it's any added consolation, I'd probably be a whole lot cheaper than these other chumps trying to win the job. I'm willing to sign for a meager dollar menu meal with a props clause that forces Miguel Cabrera and Magglio Ordonez to hang out with me on the weekends-4lyfe. I don't think that's asking too much, is it?
So there you have it, if the Tigers are looking for a real option for the fifth spot in the rotation, and would like to give Porcello some extra work in the bus leagues, I'm here and willing to negotiate. If you're interested Tigers, you better make it fast. I will need these last few weeks to start doing some long toss, calisthenics, and running again. Just give me a call at 911, because it's clearly an emergency.