The Neifi Perez Fantasy Baseball League

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,

Have you ever completed a fantasy baseball draft and looked over your team one last time before you passed out from how piss drunk you were and say, "wow my team is effing awful; this is by far and away the shittiest team I've ever had; it really sucks??"

Well, now you can say that and still win your league!

Our new friends over at Razzball invited me to join their free Second Annual Fantasy Razzball League where it benefits you to field the worst team possible. If you don't get how it works here is how the points work:

  • - 10 Team Leagues, MLB universe, 20+ games previous season for position eligibility (10 games in-season)
  • - Weekly Roster Changes (leaves you time to lavish on your Daily Leagues)
  • - C / 1B / 2B / SS / 3B / CI / MI / 5 OF / 9 P
  • - No innings or AB mins/maxes
    Hitter Stats
  • AB = +2
  • H = -3
  • R = -4
  • HR = -10
  • RBI = -4
  • K = +2
    Pitcher Stats
  • IP = -1
  • HR = +4
  • L = +8
  • K = -1
  • ER = +1.5
  • H+BB = +1
  • The point structure makes it so that about 2/3 of the league’s hitters as well as just about every pitcher has positive value. So leaving a roster spot open or filled by a guy who plays once a week will hurt.

Some notable players from your beloved Tigers who were more than worthy of a roster spot in this league last year were: Kenny Rogers & Nate Robertson (both in the top 10 for pitchers); and sadly, our ace Justin Verlander.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because last night was my league's draft for NeifiBall2--the Antonio Alfonseca Division and I want to show you my team (Chad Curtis), to show you just how pathetic it is. I will admit though that this was tough to do. I'm used to fielding winners and these guys typically are losers. I'm hoping with just the right mix of terribleness, a negative attitude, and some sub par coaching by me we can take this thing. Coolest thing about this league: winner out of all the Razzball leagues gets a $50 gift certificate to Taco Bell. That's like eleven late night #8 meals.

Here is my team:

(Click to enlarge)

I have eight of the top 38 projected worst hitters in baseball. Now, I know you are all disappointed that I have two Tigers on my team. Don't worry. I consider them both sleepers. Inge is known to flirt with the Mendoza line and strikeout a ton. As for Done-trelle, if the Tigers give him a shot at the 5th spot in the rotation, I'm almost certain to rack up some BB, HR, R, and L points, but it's looking like this guy will be making my first week cuts as he probably won't break camp with the Tags. It pains me to say it, but it's probably true. I hope I'm wrong, though.

My other sleepers: Justin Upton strikes out a TON, but he's projected to have monster power numbers this season which would hurt me if that happens. Delmon Young was given an honoree spot since he sucked sooo much for me in my legitimate fantasy baseball league last year. Ironically, I drafted him in the 6th round (1st round after keepers) in that league. There is also a soft spot in my heart for Delmon since he did give Detroit4lyfe (or my girlfriend) four 'family' tickets to the Tigers/Twins game this past summer. (The excessive creepy text messages he sent to my girlfriend afterwards was also further reason to reward him with a roster spot on my Neifi-league team).

My pitching staff is almost too good, but I'll be keeping my eyes peeled for some Mike Maroth-like pick ups during the first few weeks of games. I'm a scavenger on the waiver wire.

If you areinterested in playing in this league make sure you drop a line on Razzball's website. I think there might still be room. It's really a great idea. It's a league for the little people, a place where they can go and feel accepted. My kind of place.

BallHype: hype it up!


In this league, Brandon Inge is someone you want to build a franchise around. He's a guy who hits around .210 every year, he's aggressive at the plate with a lot of K's, not many walks, very infrequent power, and he doesn't score a whole lot of runs. Yet somehow he has managed to remain a fixture in the Tigers lineup for what seems like a couple decades. He is the Bobby Higginson of his generation. Well done, Bob!

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