Case of the Mondays: Lions May Have Settled on OT, D-Wade Still Cried Two Years Ago (not just to 'Love and Basketball'), & Vomit-ville Bob's the Mayor

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , ,

I don't have any intention of making this a weekly post or anything. This will be just for shifts and squiggles, whenever I feel like it. Whenever I'm having a real bad Case of the Moondays.

Anyhoo, the Lions are apparently communicating with the agents of a number of players who could wind up being their No. 1 overall pick. One of those guys is Baylor OT Jason Smith (and there are even reports that this is going to be the guy we pick). I've said before that I will support pretty much anyone the Lions have on their wish list for No. 1.

Well, I really want to renege that because I'm beginning to think that it'd be very anticlimactic if we selected an offensive lineman. I know Miami did it last year and they went to the playoffs, and we desperately need help up front, but hear me out.

Didn't most Lions fans just spend 3/4 of last season rooting against them for the sole purpose of crashing and landing the No. 1 pick overall? (Rooting for 0-16 came later). Is an offensive lineman really what we want to see as the product of all that hard work? All that energy in the paper bags and signs for some fat ass we'll judge forever by sacks allowed, pancake blocks, and pancakes eaten? That's not sexy at all. Personally, I'd rather see us get a guy who can make an obvious impact. A guy that throws or runs for touchdowns; or a guy that gets sacks, causes fumbles and gets interceptions. A guy that can formulate cool celebrations and get fined for it. O-lineman have nothing to celebrate, except for losing weight and that would probably cost them their job. Not to mention, we barely played our last first round O-lineman selection. Oh, well. I'll happily trade in an exciting No. 1 draft pick if it translates into W's come September.

In other news, Dwayne Wade slung his team and the whistles of the officials over his shoulder and carried the Heat to victory Sunday against the Pistons. I know. I'm surprised his shoulder was able to support all that weight too, considering it was the same shoulder that forced him to cry and be carted off the court in a wheelchair a couple years ago. He looks like one of the elderly in a nursing home in that clip.

I will admit he was superb and really proved why he deserves at least mentioning in the NBA MVP talks. He literally carried the Heat. I'm not trying to take too much away from him, but he was also the beneficiary of some rather blatant 'superstar treatment' calls. It was as if he was calling his own fouls (and calling everything) and no one else was allowed to call anything. For example, Rodney Stuckey was absolutely mugged on the Pistons' last possession however, there was no call. And why would there be? Dwayne Wade was guarding him. According to Jeff Van Gundy, superstar color commentator (and I say that through my unbrushed clenched teeth) thinks Wade's defense could prevent terrorist attacks on America. So of course there was no foul there; he's not just a shooting guard, he's a National Guard.

As if watching that wasn't nauseating enough, Bob Biscigliano was up all night long, analyzing his previous meals...if you catch my smelly draft.... Except it was coming out of my mouth. In chunks. T.M.I.? Well, Bob's going to gently remove the tampon inserted between his legs, take a tums, and try to battle through it. I heard that's what Ryan Seacrest always does before American Idol shows. Seacrest out.

BallHype: hype it up!


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