As Detroit Tigers Pitchers/Catchers (and some others) Report, the Bulge in My Pants Grows

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,

... as much as it possibly can, which may not be saying all that much. (I'll let you decide if you want. Search Visanthe Shiancoe in the serach column on this page, scroll down to the second post, watch the video and tack on about 3 inches.) ((Too much?))

I don't care what you think because I am so excited that today is essentially the first official day of Spring Training. The Pitchers and Catchers reported to Lakeland for the Tigers, who were joined by a few other notable Tigers such as Curtis Granderson and Miguel Cabrea. I'm sure it wasn't much of a work out day for all of them--probably some calisthenics, pilates, poles, inch worms, clowning, and fungo techniques for off days--but I'm still jacked up.

In the next week or so, I will have a special guest doing the annual predictions for the 2009 Tigers. Last year it was Richard Belding from "Saved by the Bell," but he was fired because he jinxed the entire season and allegedly touched some boys during gym class. We can't have that going on around here. The guest, as of now, is TBA--I'm waiting on a few call backs from my peeps (Zack Morris ((who we should have had last year, anyway)), Billy Madison, Dennis Quaid, and Brandi).

I will go on record, however, and say that the Tigers are going to surprise a lot of people this year. They revamped their defense this offseason (acquisitions of Laird and Adam Everett; Inge back to third) and restocked their bullpen (Lyon, Rincon, potentially Perry ((which has a nice ring to it))). As for the bullpen, and I've said this before, if we have an '07 Lyon, '06-like Zumaya, old Rincon, accurate Rodney, samesy Seay and Perry makes the squad, we could wind up having one of the best bullpens in the major leagues. "Rick Knapp" my words. (Why did I say "Rick Knapp" my words? Because he teaches his pitchers to throw strikes, or be on the 'mark' with their pitches, so do you see what I did there?)((Okay, that was really lame.))

If you weren't already pizzazed about the season then look no further than the front page of the Tigers website. There is a video on there that is absolutely incredible. The last time I had a three minute episode of goosebumps was when Magglio hit that walk off home run to send us to the World Series, and before that, when I was reading R.L. Stein. The feeling is remarkable.

Go Tags.

UNITY

GRAMMAR DISCLAIMER: Within this post I have introduced the double parentheses. Basically, if I have something that is worthy of being used in a parentheses, within another parentheses, or immediately following a parenthesized phrase, I will use the double parentheses. Double parentheses are typically frowned upon in the English language because they look ugly. Well, I've heard the same thing about my face before--so I'm going to go with it. I shall call them Bob's Biscigliantheses. (I got the idea from Joe Posnanski's blog where he calls his asterisks ((which signal to the reader he has something to add, but will do so at the end of his train of thought)) as Joe's Posterisks.)

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