Posted by Bob Biscigliano in Kyle Korver really rocks the shit out of that snowboarding hat huh, Tool Academy, turning men into school boy bitches, Zac Efron is soft
I'm sorry but I have to step outside the sports world for a second and promote something. Probably the greatest show to hit television since... well, "The Pickup Artist," or "Bret Michael's Rock of Love." VH1 gets uber serious with this show that straight up blends "The Bachelor" with creatine after a really long, shirtless 'beach' lift. What makes this show the ultimate reality series is that it's called "Tool Academy." It's a bunch of proclaimed "tools," who apparently are the worst boyfriends on Earth and the academy is meant to turn them into nicer, more romantic, better (and more) dressed, p-whipped, Zac Efron-like significant others. Are we sure this show changes them from tools into school boy bitches and not into school boy bitches who are still massive tools? I guess we'll have to watch the show and find out. My interest is at its peak!
Here are a couple quick never-ending clips of a couple 'tools' getting reality checks:
I'm not sure who this 'tool' is above, but he takes the so super hard slap from his girl very nicely. He kind of cocks his head to the side and says, "that's all your chubby hand's got?" Probably right after he tells her to stop eating his lunches. What a tool. I hope "Tool Academy" changes him!
Here is a prime example of a 'tool' trying to impress the ladies with his basketball skills. Unfortunately he dribbles like Shawn Bradley and bounces the rock off some poor blonde's face. I definitely remember my friend CJ doing this to his ex-girlfriend in high school. The only difference: he wasn't 'trying' to be sweet. He was naturally being sweet by bouncing it off her nose on purpose. Hopefully "Tool Academy" has a few tips for the aspiring Kyle Korver above. Please fix him!
I have no image but one African American on the show calls himself M.E.G.A. Which he says stands for "Makes Every Girl Aroused." Now I know why Calvin Johnson is Megantron. He's like the updated and improved version of getting every girl and offensive coordinator aroused. This 'tool' from the show needs to step down from his pedestal. Please fix him "Tool Academy!"
Here is the trailer.