Seacrest. OUT.

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in

It's been a long ass beautiful journey Ms. Blogspot. We've had our ups and downs, our thrills, our times when you wouldn't call me back for weeks at a time, and lots of sexy times. Unfortunately, it's over. It's not you, it's me. I've gotten way too big for you and I think it's best for the both of us to move on. You'll probably move on to serve hundreds of thousands and take minutes to load people's webpages, while I've already found someone else that I love dearly. We're going to have kids and get married on top of a mountain. Actually, one kid is already on the way. Stop. Don't make this any harder than it already is. Her name? You want her name? What are you going to do? Okay, stop hitting me... it's Bloguin.com Where will I be living? Where I've always lived: Detroit4lyfe.com. Fine. Leave. I'll always remember you. Goodbye.

(if you didn't get it from the post above, Detroit4lyfe is no longer hosted by BLOGGER. We will always have a special place for BLOGGER in our hearts since they took our blogging virginity, but we are moving on to bigger and better things. Find us now at Bloguin.com or directly through Detroit4lyfe.com We love all our readers and hope you'll follow us over there. Bloguin will provide fans with a better opportunity to interact with us through the site's FORUM or comments section. We can't wait and we hope you can't either. Seacrest. Blogger. OUT)

In Five Words or Less: Why the Pistons Will Beat the Cavs

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , ,

Sheed's telling me to make Five arguments in five words or less, so I will:

1) Rip runs; gets open; swish

2) Rasheed swaggers; plays hard; guaransheeds

3) Lebron ends with modest numbers

4) Cavs shoot terribly throughout series

5) Detroit trying...starting.....now!

In what is probably the shortest preview/prediction throughout the entire internet, this is also probably the only prediction that has the Pistons winning it. That's right people, THE DETROIT PISTONS WILL BEAT THE CAVS IN SIX GAMES! Either I've gone completely off my rocker or I've completely gone off my rocker AND forgot to take my meds today.

I'll see you in May when it happens.
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Stuttering Stanley! Stuttering Stanley!

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , ,


It's tough being the kid with a stutter. You're always getting picked on, having Billy Madison embarrassing you in class by yelling out, "the kid can't even read!" when your turn is up in the game of popcorn reading. Of course, to this day I think Billy was just doing that to get the attention of Veronica Vaughn. It worked, didn't it? He put himself on the radar and then zap they fall in love after Billy peed his pants.

I digress. You're probably wondering what the hell a "Sixth Sense" quote and the aforementioned jumble-jargon about my theory on how Billy Madison landed Veronica Vaughn has to do with anything whatsoever. And if you can't tell what this post will be about from looking at the picture, then you my friend did not read enough books as a child. In any case, I shall tell you.

The Red Wings are starting their quest for the Cup tonight against the Columbus Blue Jackets in the first round of the 2009 NHL Playoffs. You may have furrowed your eyebrows in mass confusion after reading that second team name, and deservedly so. The Columbus Blue Jackets have never made the playoffs before, they are indeed in Columbus, Ohio; population one cool person (hi Chip), and their team name IS in fact the BLUE Jackets. Now, I've only heard of Yellow Jackets and green jackets, but another Adam Sandler movie has always told me, "gold jacket, green jacket, who gives a shit.," so I'm willing to give this hockey team a fair chance.

As for the Red Wings, they are a dynasty looking to win their second consecutive Stanley Cup, which would be the organization's 5th in just the last 12 years. Throughout this season, critics thought a Stanley Cup repeat was a lock for the Wings. However, they are just 3-7 in their last ten games coming into the playoffs, playing some of the least inspiring hockey I've seen from a Red Wings team in a long time.

Regardless of how they have been playing lately, I think the Wings are just stutter stepping their way into the playoffs, waiting to pounce on opponents en route to their franchise's 12th Stanley Cup Championship. Led by Captain Nicklas Lidstrom, Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg, Johan Franzen, and Marian Hossa (just to name a few) the Wings are absolutely loaded with offensive weapons. However, I don't think it's any secret that the playoffs will hinge upon the play of the Detroit goalie(s). Chris Osgood is the playoff goalie, but if he struggles, I would not be surprised to see an early switch to Ty Conklin.

Meanwhile, Columbus has the direct opposite problem with their goalie. They have a rookie netminder, Steve Mason that could single-handedly prevent the Red Wings from advancing. Mason leads the NHL in shutouts (10) and is second in goals against average (2.29) and the Wings are just cocky enough to allow it to happen. The Red Wings have had their fair share of playoff series ruined by an opposing goalie playing out of his mind (Irbe, Brodeur, Roy, Giguere, etc.), so hopefully the Wings will be attacking the net early and often with scoring chances.

The Blue Jackets are surely going to be psyched about their first ever playoff appearance, but i don't see them getting past this Wings team. I will give the Blue Jackets a chance, though with passionate play and heroics from Steve Mason. Utilizing my own sixth sense, I know for sure this game will go six games. Wings in 6.

The Stanley Cup Playoffs start tonight. The game will be shown on VERSUS at 7 PM EST live from Joe Louis Arena.

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The Rain Game

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in


Back in college, I was introduced to this pretty fun game called the "Rain Game." No we wouldn't split up in pairs and have one person be Dustin Hoffman and the other be Tom Cruise; and no, we didn't drop dollar bills over one another as we stripped naked singing our favorite overplayed song on the radio at that time. And hell no, we didn't do both of those things combined (although I'm intrigued).

The rain game is basically playing the role of a drunk, mildly retarded Nostradamus. What you do is, the night before a big game, or any game for that matter, you study the next day's forecast and you study it hard. By that, I mean look at the little pictures pretty intently. If you are fairly certain that the little picture of rain drops is enough for you to believe that it will cancel your next day's baseball game then you are in the clear to play the "Rain Game," the night before.

The "Rain Game" consists of the following elements: weather.com (or Chuck Gaidica), confidence, perseverance, and a lot of cheap beer.

You see, the "Rain Game" is simply getting drunk the night before a game, but you don't really care because you've already foreseen the following day's rain out and coincidental hang over. It's a beautiful game as Alcoholics Anonymous, a delusional rankings system, ranks it up near the top along with beer pong, flippy cup, quarters, and swimming.

The "Rain Game" is a game because it takes a lot of skill and just like any other game, there are winners and losers. Sometimes you will lose as the clouds will miraculously break the next morning and ultimately, the sun will beat down on your ten sheets to the wind, throbbing head as you sit on the pine. At that point, you just have to hope the sun will sweat you dry of all the alcoholic drops in your boozed up body and that this game is like 95% of the other games and you don't play. The winners of the game get that email bright and early that the game has been officially canceled, so you can go throw up and come back to bed. If you're a true winner, there will be a lady next to you, too. If you're a superstar winner, there will be two.

So, as you can see, the "Rain Game" is a beautiful creation. Started in 1932 by Ted Zollner and Felix Cartwright, the rules have remained fairly consistent over the years. You must start the "Rain Game" no later than 9 PM. Starting too late could lead to premature passing out from pre-existent tiredness.

The beer must be cheap because let's face it; you don't have much money and shouldn't be wasting it on beer anyway. You need to be buying pencils and Plan B's. After all, that's what college is for and that's why you love it. (awesome).

Don't get the wrong idea, though. The point of this post is that it's not just for college athletes. I guarantee you the Detroit Tigers played this game last night. I'm pretty sure, from the determination and heart I saw from Rick Porcello this past spring, he was at Woody's in Royal Oak getting hammered drunk with Curtis Granderson, shouting "it's the Rain Game!" every other beer. I heard they were there. Apparently, they looked like they were having a good time. As a result of today's postponement, they wound up winners, too.

Another rule, though. Never play two nights in a row. It'll bite you in the ass like Vick not listening to his dad when he told him to put his Virginia house in someone else's name did to him. This game is all about statistics and that's just a basic sobermetric of the rain game.

Right now, all the Tigers are fast asleep in their beds, dreaming of victory tomorrow. I can't speak for Chicago, though. Mark Beurhle is probably playing the "Smoke Pot with college kids" game. That's another story, for another day.

GO TIGERS.





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Minerleaguer and Bonine Get Torched

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,

Zach Miner threw pretty well in his last start. I wouldn't call it an outing that would win me over, but it was one that kept us in the game and allowed us to pull out the victory nonetheless. Unfortunately, he lived up to his name, Minerleaguer, today. His name, and Eddie "Bonehead" Bonine's (as I suggested in the last Tigers recap) imply that they were born to fail at the Major League level and they proved today that they just can't muster it. Miner lasted 3.1 IP in his start allowing eight runs on nine hits while walking three today against the White Sox in a 10-6 loss. Eddie Bonine gave up two runs in 2.2 IP and licked his fingers about thirty five times.

The one bright spot for the Tigers pitching today was Juan Rincon, who struggled in his first outing. Today, he threw three shutout innings with five strikeouts. Even though he looks like a mixture between Mr. Penguin and the sneaky sneaky guy in Mr. Deeds (John Turturro), I was pumped to hear we signed him this off-season, and probably ill-advisedly so. For some odd reason, I just figured because he was nasty with Minnesota and with Rick Knapp as our new pitching coach Rincon would automatically revert to his old self and have a lot of success. I guess we'll see if that can happen. Today was a step in the right direction.

At the plate, the Tigers used a big three-run home run from Ramon Santiago to get back into the game early, but the pitching was too much like Keeanu Reeves' acting abilities and couldn't keep us in it. Josh Anderson also had three RBIs.

Tomorrow the kid, Rick Porcello takes the bump opposite John Danks.

I'm having diarrhea causing, conflicting thoughts as to whether or not I should start Porcello in my fantasy league. Please leave me with your wisdom. My thought process is this: 1) He could do very well because the White Sox have never seen him pitch before and they just spent 16 hits today wasting all their runs or 2) He'll choke under the pressure of it being a big division rivalry game because he's just 20 years old, and today was no fluke for the White Sox bats. I guess the safest move would be to bench him, but I would feel awfully stupid after he throws a no-hitter. No matter what, I just hope the White Sox don't make him look like the torched Fantastic Four character like they did to Miner and Bonine today.
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Good Ball Coincides with Masterful Boob Grab

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,

This video comes from Total Pro Sports and it's a doozy. A man, celebrating Tiger Woods' approach shot on the 15th hole in yesterday's Final Round of the Masters, gets a sneaky handful of his wife's (or some random woman next to him) right chesticle. From the video you can see that the woman removes the hand quickly while saying, "Stop it!" The man backs away and goes, "Stop what!?" Classic boob grab by a classy guy at Augusta. Take a peek.


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Your Sunday Night Anti-Debreastants

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,

Sadly this may be the very last SNA-D ever. I have received word that we may be making the move to Bloguin.com by mid-week and since they are a classy bunch, Sunday Night Anti-Debreastants will be no mas, John. As if that's not depressing enough, a man who can't even speak english won the Masters today. That's sad.

To reward all our readers this week for not committing suicide and instead coming to D4L for their meds on a weekly basis, we are going to treat you with a new drug this weekend. This drug is different because it's potent, will kick in faster, and give you that 'special' feeling performance enhancement commercials warn you about. If you have that feeling for longer than five hours, then maybe you can watch an episode of 'The Drew Carey Show.' That might help ease that neverending climactic feeling you have.

Today, on what may be the very last publicized Sunday Night Anti-Debreastants I present to you the drug: STRANGEASSphemloxocen.If you liked SAphemloxocen you can get an unlimited amount of refills via our Google Image pharmacy. Just type in "hot babe" or "big boobs" and you're cured. It's a new virtual pharmacist that works wonders. Try it out.

Remember if you would like to be a part of the email group that will continue to receive these weekly, please email us at detroit4lyfe@gmail.com.
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Don't Bully Our Bully, But We'll Bully Yours

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , ,


Coming into this season everyone doubted the Tigers bullpen. After the Toronto series, everyone STILL doubted the bullpen. Well, the boys are back into town and are giving everyone reason to believe, we have noooothing to doubt.

Our Tagers just completed a Mr. Clean sponsored sweep of the Texas Rangers on Easter Sunday. This weekend, the Tigers bullpen threw nine innings and allowed just one run! That lone run was a meaningless one on Friday in our 15-2, bend you over our knee and spank you, victory. Also, it was given up by Eddie Bonine who arguably shouldn't even be in our bullpen and whose name might imply that such outings come with the territory.

Since Bonine gave up that solo shot to Nelson Cruz on Friday, the Tigers bully has been PERF, or perfect. They've retired 24 consecutive Texas Rangers through eight innings and have two saves. This is not some fluke, critics. This is an indication of what this bullpen is capable of this year. Texas has one of the best Louisville slugger-filled lineups in the league with Ian Kinsler, Nelson Cruz, Chris Davis, Michael Young, Hank Blalock and oh, that guy named Josh Hamiton. They can straight mash, but Detroit's bullpen made it look like they were using the chop sticks they got while eating dinner at Somerset Mall's PF Changs.

Yesterday, Fernando Rodney closed out a solid performance by striking out the side and doing a mixture between some type of dance and Joel Zumaya's patented fist pump. Today, he did it the ol' fashioned way by letting them put it in play, a 1-2-3 nonetheless. Nate Robertson threw a perfect two frames yesterday and Brandon "Todd Jones" Lyon bounced back from his miserable outing in Toronto by throwing two perfect innings today too.

Meanwhile, the Tigers had a lot of fun bullying the Rangers bullpen this weekend as they scored 13 runs against them. Today, it was at the expense of fellow twitterer C.J. Wilson. Power surged by Brandon M-Inge's lead off home run in the 8th, the Tigers mustered up the best rally stew of the season to score six runs on five hits and pull off an amazing Easter Sunday comeback victory. Brandon Inge also had a two run single in that same inning. That is probably the first time he's ever had two hits in one inning in a Tigers uniform. I'm sure he's right there with the bullpen spitting in the faces of all those Tigers fans who have relentlessly picked on them. Hopefully, they can keep it up--the good play and the spitting.

Don't look now Tigers nation, but the Tigers are 4-3 and sitting atop the Central Division standings on April 12th! Maybe I should have left off the exclamation point there but for a team that didn't even reach the .500 mark until June 28th last season (80 games), I'm going to enjoy this. Playoffs here we come. Back off.


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A Detroit4lyfe Type Moment

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , , ,

If you went to the yard today, you may have noticed something a little differently about the area above centerfield. Normally, there's a huge GM sign with a couple GM trucks on each side. Today, the Detroit Tigers showed their support to The Big Three automakers by putting Chrysler on the left side and a Ford sign on the right. Underneath the General Motors display there's a little message that reads, "The Detroit Tigers Support Our Automakers."

I picked up on this from BlessYouBoys.com and instantly got that special tingly feeling I always get whenever the city of Detroit comes together or does something great. Here, Mike Illitch is taking a stand to show the fans at Comerica Park that the Detroit Tigers support the economically crumbling automakers. What's even more touching about this is Illitch has supposedly turned down other offers (between $1.5-2 million!) to fill that space. Illitch pretty much said, "have some crazy bread and go on your way because that space is taken." So essentially, Illitch is donating it to show support for The Big Three. That is pretty freaking awesome, if you ask me.

Another strong move from one of the better owners in sports. Kudos, Mr. Illitch. You are the first recipient of the Detroit4lyfe award. Call your family and let them know.


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"Don't Drink and Drive...Just Don't"

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,


As I'm sure all of you have heard by now 22-year old LA Angels pitcher, Nick Adenhart was killed yesterday in a car crash driving home from his impressive season debut. Absolutely tragic news. As the story developed, it was revealed that his car was involved in a three car wreck, caused by a drunken driver.

My heart dropped when I heard this news, and it dropped even further when I learned that Adenhart wasn't the only person killed as a result of some asshole's poor judgment. Two others had died.

As if it couldn't get any worse, I stumbled across Matt Clapp's article on Sharapova's Thigh. Apparently, one of those other two people was Matt's best friend, who was with Adenhart during the accident. This made me feel even more terrible knowing a new friend of mine has lost someone they cared so deeply about. Detroit4lyfe's thoughts and prayers go out to Nick Adenhart's family, Henry Pearson's family, Matt, and all of their grieving friends.

That being said, the Tigers home opener is winding down and we're absolutely spanking Texas. Cabrera has six RBI's on his way to 200 this season and Galarraga looked filthy, in the words of Rod Allen. It feels like nothing could ruin this day. But something can, and that's if you decide to drive home after you have been drinking. Nothing could be dumber than drinking all day for the Home Opener and then getting in your car and driving home. The World of Isaac, fellow Detroiters, had a great pre-game post warning fans not to drink and drive and to make smart decisions today. That decision is easy, people: Get a freaking DD.

That is all for now.

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Home Opener Doesn't Sound As Exciting When You're 1-3

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,


How Adam Sandler felt in Big Daddy about his Syracuse Orangemen is how I feel about my Detroit Tigers right now: "I'm going through a little bit of a rough patch in my life." (don't be a prick and leave the real quote in the comments section, I know the quote refers to the Orange being 0-2)

Today is the Home Opener for the Tigers and while it's still a National Holiday for me (no classes, no mail, no work), it doesn't exactly have that ol' Jennifer Aniston sex appeal when you're sportin' a 1-3 record. But the show must go on.

The Tigers lost the series to Toronto, 3-1, as a result of another poor performance from the bullpen on Thursday afternoon. Begging to Be DesigNated Robertson and Juan Rincon each allowed a run in relief of 20-year old Rick Porcello. Although the box score won't show it, Rick Porcello had a pretty solid outing overall. He had great composure in some tough situations and battled out of a couple jams. Ultimately, it was fatigue that got the best of him late in is outing. As for the ever mystifying bullpen, I'm running out to my car as soon as I finish this post and grabbing my glove. I'm convinced, even with my +10 college ERA, I could pitch in the bullpen based off sheer good looks alone.

Anyway, Armando Galarraga will get the nod for the Home Opener opposite Kris Benson, who is making his debut in a Texas Rangers uniform. If you don't know who Kris Benson is then you need to wake the eff up. If you recall, Kris Benson has a model for a wife. Normally, not a big deal, but she is a big deal in many areas. If you don't believe me, then maybe this will refresh your mind (pecker). Well, I know this off the top of my head because a few years ago Kris Benson's wife told reporters that if Kris ever cheated on her while he was on the road, she would retaliate by sleeping with everyone on his team. Sounds clean and fun, but if I'm JT Saltynutsalamachia I'm trying to get ol' Kris schmammered drunk at the Townsend this weekend, into the arms of another woman, and ready for a photo op. If you catch what I'm saying.

Hopefully the Tigers can reverse their fortunes with a home series in front of a happy crowd. I know Brandon Lyon's apartment/house won't make it through the weekend without a TP job if they don't.

Before the game the Tigers will have a nice little tribute to George Kell who passed away recently. Also, Kid Rock will be giving a little schpeal about the automative industry.

Restore the roar!
GO TAGS.
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Another Blogs with Balls Plugging

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,

I'm still considering going to the "Blogs with Balls" June 13th sports symposium in New York City this summer. What do you think? A lot of cool people will be there, like Jimmy Traina for example. He loves loons more than Chip Stevenson, so I'm sure I'll be able to strike up a pretty decent conversation with him about the recently recalled Sunday Night Anti-Debreastants.

Anyway, I'm seriously considering it and so should you. The tickets are only $50 if you get them now. If you decide you want to go I have two quick tips; (1) please be sure to use the referral code: D4LYFE when purchasing a ticket; and (2) let me know if you're going, because we can meet up like creepy cyberspace friends.

So to further promote their all day sports shindig, "Blogs with Balls" along with a couple other big blogs put together this little "Kobe Bryant, tell me how my ass tastes, we can jump over cars too" rebuttal video. You'll be utterly amazed by the results. Watch:



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Tigers Finally Break the W Column by Overcoming BJ's

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , , , , ,

The Tigers finally got over that hump and can just worry about winning the rest of the season. With a 5-1 victory over the Blue Jays on Wednesday, the Tigers no longer have to fear starting 0-7 again (or 0-162 if you added a two to the Lions record this past season). Huge PHEW.

Tigers got things rolling with Miguel Cabrera's first inning 3-run SHE-OT! (that's 'shot' said differently and quickly, for you baseball n00bs). He followed that up with a mammoth bomb to straight away center. Brandon Inge provided the cherry on top with his third, yes third, home run of the season. With three homers in three games, he's on pace to shatter Barry Bonds HR record. Someone get this guy a cup and tell him to start pissing.

On the hill, Zach Miner did his best, "I'm Jeremy Bonderman in the first inning," impression as he dug himself an early hole, but was bailed out by the Government and Josh Anderson's right arm. He crawled out of the bottom of the first by allowing just one run, despite loading the bases with no outs. From that point forward, it was smooth sailing as he went 5.2 IP with four K's and walking just two. Seay, Perry, and Rodney closed the door, respectively.

Ryan Perry really impressed me as he faced the heart of the Jays order in the 8th inning and retired them in order. One of those outs was a Rios K on a 3-2 slider. The fact that he's throwing a 3-2 slider in his Major League debut should say enough about the kid. I hate to say this, but his presence sort of reminds me of Jonathan Papeldouche, only with a better arm and a better face. Either way you look at it, he's going to be the real deal. Our future closer, in my mind, for sure.

Tomorrow the Tigers will try to even things up against the Blue Jays as 20-year old, Rick Porcello will make his Major League debut. He will square off against LHP Ricky Romero who is also making his first big league start. This is the first time since the installment of the first year player draft (1964), that two first round pitchers will make their Major League debuts against each other. First pitch is slated for 12:37 PM EST (obscure time clearly means it's a big game). I will be in class, Civil Procedure to be precise; and I will be taking notes with MLB.tv up on the left side of my screen. I hope Porcello grants all sorts of 12(b)(6) motions up on Toronto's asses. Go Tigers.

Big ups to Bless You Boys (and The Tao of Stieb) for bringing the picture above to my attention. I'll be sure to stay away from at least that one girl as it appears she has some mean, unforgiving chompers.


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Live BlogCast: Detroit Tigers @ Toronto Blue Jays; 7:05 PM EST; Game #2

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,



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Tigers Will Look for Solid Outing from Edwin After Ver-blunder's Last Night

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , ,

Fans were pumped to get the season underway last night and so were the Tigers. Some may have been a little too amped up, though.

For starters, Justin Verlander may have been gotten a little too excited after getting the first two outs in the bottom of the first, in what seemed to be an easy 1-2-3 inning. Unfortunately, he fell behind the third hitter, Alex Rios, and wound up walking him en route to an inning from hell. He would go on to allow four runs in the inning on over 30 pitches, which put his team in an irrecoverable hole against a pitcher who has dominated Tigers hitters (most hitters in MLB) in recent years.

A two out walk, especially after retiring the first two hitters, is the ultimate no-no for pitchers! I have been told by pitching coaches my entire life, the biggest mistake a pitcher can make aside from not throwing first pitch strikes, is giving up a walk after you've retired the first two hitters. It's annoying, unnecessary, and can be a major momentum killer, as it proved to be for Verlander. Skipper didn't think too highly of it either.

"You just got two outs with nobody on base," Leyland said. "You want to get ahead. He got behind, walked the guy and just couldn't come out of it."
I would say that's like me starting the game off with two, nice, cold beers and switching to a warm glass of milk for my third beverage of choice. Inexcusable and unforgiving.

Anyway, enough about that. To be fair, Verlander wasn't the only pitcher who struggled. Eddie Bonine came into relief for him and gave up a lead off three-run homer, which is not what you want when going to the 'pen with runners on base. He settled down though and pitched pretty well in a inning-munching role.

Juan Ricon, making his first appearance as a Tiger in the regular season, allowed three runs on two hits and walked two. This all after a scoreless spring. I hope those were just the jitters/him being due to give up a few runs. Otherwise, he could find himself out of a job sooner than he thinks.

As for the Tigers offense, Brandon Inge and Curtis Granderson provided the 'that's nice, but it's probably too late," spark- both hitting home runs. In addition, Cabrera and Maggs each had two hits, starting their season off where each may end it: with a .500 batting average.

Tonight, the Tigers will square off in game two of this four game set with the Blue Jays as Edwin Jackson makes his regular season debut. Hopefully, nerves will not play a role in this one for him. They certainly will play a role for me since I'm excited to see Edwin pitch. I only saw him throw once during the Spring. Lefty, David Purcey will get the nod for the Blue Jays.

Detroit4lyfe will be having another live blogcast tonight for the game. Make sure you stop by and join in on the dugout chatter. Please bring your fungos for Rally Stew just in case it's needed--we forgot ours last night. See photo for reference:

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I Don't Know, Couches MIGHT BE On Fire

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,

As I'm sure you all witnessed, Michigan State got shalacked by North Carolina last night in the NCAA Men's Basketball National Championship Game. The Spartans had a great run for such a young team and I'm certainly proud of them.

Anyway, with big sporting events we often hear about the fans getting a little crazy afterward when spilling out of the stadium and out into the streets. One of the crazier schools, Michigan State has a history of celebrating/mourning their wins/losses in a riotous fashion. I've had brothers attend school there and while they haven't done any car or couch burning themselves that I know of, I've seen some quality pictures.

Well, presumably as a result of MSU's past behaviors, their school's website monitors potential riots, just in case you were sitting at your computer and wondering what the live status of the streets of East Lansing were like.

Well a couple hours after their loss to UNC, their school's Riot Status was raised from a "NO" to a "MIGHT BE." Now, I'm not sure how I should react to that. Does that mean this website lacks credibility and they're just speculating? Or does it mean that there's a huge effing riot outside with people and couches burning to shreds and this status update doesn't want to be entirely truthful so, instead they just give a little smirk and say, "There MIGHT BE a riot going on outside and we're just going to turn our cheek, ok?" I have no idea. You can make your own interpretation, but it's funny to think about (and funny they have this shit up anyway):As for UNC fans back in Chapel Hill, they just had a small gathering around a few bonfires on Franklin Street:

Timelapse: Franklin Street after the victory from The Daily Tar Heel on Vimeo.

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Testicle Tuesday Hot and Steamy Link Dump

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,



Well, Monday night was really shitty. I said this like twenty times in the live blogs, but I'll say it again damnit. I wish I could get in my Delorean and gun it to 80 and re-do the Tigers' Opening Day game and Michigan State's first nine minutes of their loss to UNC in the National Championship game. Unfortunately, the time machine does not exist yet and here I am drunk, naked, and sweating all over my black leather chair trying to figure out if I should sob to the Season Three Finale re-run of the OC or cry on the bathroom floor next to my toilet with a wet towel wrapped around my shoulders instead. I'm conflicted. At least the Red Wings won and are looking good going into the playoffs.

When the other pain wears off, (which honestly will be soon--I'm exaggerating just a little) I'll surely need some electrolytes before I go to bed. Therefore, I'll resort to some Gatorade (or G) to replenish my system. This G commercial, sent by Docksquad Sports, could probably inspire Brian Urlacher and David Ortiz to put down their badminton rackets and crappy Vitamin Water to take a quick sip of this G (that's what she said--the Sarah Palin version).

Speaking of 'that's what she said' you have to take a look at the revolutionary work from the girls at Sportsbroad.com. Yes, I said, "girls." According to their site, they're just a few young girls from Atlanta who like to talk about sports in their underwear. They're more than just girls in their underwear, though. They are girls who know how to relay sports news with an enjoyable humorous twang. Obviously, it doesn't hurt knowing that what's being said is by chicks in their underwear. Good marketing from a good site.

That reminds me, I need to pass the word along about Sharapova's Thigh's "Hot Ladies Tournament Field of 32 Thighs." As the title of the tourney so clearly reveals, it will consist of a field of 32 thighs going thigh-to-thigh under the limelight. Who will prevail as the ultimate thigh? Well, Vegas has their odds geared toward Jessica Alba, as it appears she's in one of the weaker regions of the tournament. Check it out and make sure you give your thoughts on the thight at Sharapova's Thigh.

As I have mentioned before, Detroit4lyfe will soon be moving to a sports network, Bloguin.com. They have a great group of bloggers over there that we're really looking forward to working with. One in particular, as you saw in my Walter Herrmann piece, had an Unsung Player Day yesterday. There were a lot of worthy submissions so I highly suggest you check With-Malice out for those. Another blog that you should be on the lookout for is Motown String Music. It will be a blog devoted solely to the Detroit Pistons on the esteemed SB Nation sports bloggers network. It is set to launch any day now.

Lastly I'd like to express my displeasure with CBS ending the Men's NCAA Tournament coverage with the song, "One Shining Moment," accompanied by a montage of all the highlights from the tourney. I get that it's tradish and all, being from 1987. However, it's 2009 now and the song is flat out-played out. You can argue that we only hear it once a year, but that's not really true. We hear it in our heads every time we think of the NCAA tournament finishing because that's the last thing they leave us with. Therefore, it's exactly like hearing Lady Gaga's Poker Face a million times or any other song that winds up on those 'Now That's What I Call Music' CDs. And quite honestly, "One Shining Moment" is much worse to me than some overplayed song on the radio: The beat kind of reminds me of that freaking Reading Rainbow song. Don't ask me how or why, probably because they're from the same era, but it does. That should provide CBS enough reason to change it up in 2010. Thanks.

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Live BlogCast: National Championship! Michigan State Spartans vs. North Carolina; 9:21 PM EST

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,



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Live BlogCast: Opening Day! Detroit Tigers @ Toronto Blue Jays; 7:15 PM EST

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,



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Who's Excited for Tonight?

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in

This Michigan State cheerleader guy is. That or his silky green Spartan pants are flattering in the crotcheral region. I don't blame him for being excited, though. I've been walking around with a chubby for nearly two days now. What do you want him to do? Cut the damn thing off? Tonight MSU is in the freaking National Championship and he's holding up a girl by her twitter. That all means Sparty time and I'm sure pants will be getting tighter throughout the state of Michigan as we get closer to game time. Enjoy the game and come here for the live blogcast. GO SPARTANS!


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Red Bull Gives Me Angry Wings

Posted by Chip Stevenson


I can't quite put my finger on why this makes me so angry. I don't think that it should irritate me so much, but it does and I can't help it. Maybe I'm just being too sensitive and making a big deal out of nothing, but I can't seem to get it out of my head: It pisses me off when I see Big Leaguers drinking Red Bull in the dugouts or bullpens.

I'm not even one of those holier than thou, every steroid user should be tarred and feathered kind of guy. I find myself somewhat sympathetic to PED users, probably because I can't deny that if I were in their position in the early 2000s, I might have used steroids, too. It's just that after all of the steroid allegations and the huge black eye that it has given baseball, I can't get over the fact that all kinds of players are openly downing Red Bull after Red Bull before they step on the field for everyone to see.

Yes, I know that Red Bull is perfectly legal. Hell, I plan on buying two cans tonight on my way home in preparation for a late night/early morning tomorrow. I understand that caffeine isn't as bad as steroids or HGH or any of the other drugs players were using that are more fit for horses than humans.

Yet, I see players drinking it before games and all I can think of is how they would do whatever it takes to get an edge and if that involves cheating, so be it. To me, it's at least a remnant of the Steroid Era, one that involves players searching far and wide for anything they could put into their bodies that might help them hit a ball farther or throw it faster. It's not that I think drinking Red Bull is cheating by itself. It's just that it's at least a reminder of the cheating era, of the era where players looked for any type of edge they could find and if that involved shooting an illegal substance into their butt cheeks, that was fine with them.

It's different from steroids since it is perfectly legal, but it drives the point home to me that the line between legal advantages and illegal advantages is a fuzzy one. On one level, you can't fault the players for pushing the boundaries. Fans want players to do whatever it takes to win and finding an edge is just an extension of that. On another level, however, how stupid do these players have to be? Steroid users have ruined the National Pastime for many casual fans and most other fans see the players' accomplishments skeptically now. But here they are, showing the world with no shame how they prepare for a game: they take batting practice, they throw a bullpen session, they warm up their arms, and they drink Red Bull.

I saw an interview yesterday with Dustin Pedroia where he joked around about his Red Bull intake. He said his doctor doesn't think drinking as many Red Bulls as he did before games last year, during his MVP year, is healthy. You know what else wasn't healthy that certain players took before their MVP years? Steroids. Pedroia, by the way, plans to cut back and drink only two Red Bulls before games this year.

Baseball needs to regain the fans' trust, and I don't think the players are doing their part. The perception of cheating is just as bad now as cheating itself, and I think Red Bull perpetuates the doubts that many people have about baseball. I'm not saying that Red Bull or other energy drinks should be banned or placed on the same level as steroids, but it still makes me cringe every time I see energy drink cans in the dugout. It reminds me too much of the era that came close to ruining the game that I love.

With that said, I certainly will enjoy the rush I get tomorrow morning after drinking one on five hours of sleep.

BallHype: hype it up!

Chip's Optimistic 2009 Predictions for the Detroit Tigers

Posted by Chip Stevenson

In honor of MLB's first game of the 2009 season tonight, I've decided to share with all of our loyal readers my top secret predictions for the Detroit Tigers.

(1) Edwin Jackson will have the most wins out of any Tiger starting pitcher.

This isn't a knock on Justin Verlander, who I do think will have a nice little bounce back year, or Galarraga who will be close to what he was last year. It's more a testament to all the rave reviews I have been reading about Jackson throughout the preseason. He's always had tremendous potential, and, at only 25 years old, he's only now entering his prime as a pitcher.

My only real experience with Jackson comes from two years ago. The Tigers were in Tampa Bay and Jackson was struggling on the mound early in the game. The Tigers got a hit to bring home a run and Jackson sprinted behind home plate to back up the throw to home. The outfielder airmailed the throw over the catcher and it hit Jackson square in the face. Most pitchers I know would have started crying and left the game, but not Jackson. Instead, he shrugged it off like nothing ever happened and dominated the Tigers for the rest of the game. That's one tough dude and I think he's going to put it all together this year. Look out for 15 wins out of him.

(2) Rick Porcello will win six or fewer games this year.

From what I've heard, Porcello has the best stuff out of any of the starters on the team. In fact, he apparently had the best stuff in camp last season, his first in professional baseball. I'm more than excited to see what he can do, and I expect him to pitch well. However, his pitch count last season was capped at 75 pitches per game. I am sure Leyland will let him throw more pitches per game this year but not that many more. If he's capped at, say, 90 pitches, I think that his inexperience, jitters, and pitch count will make it hard for him to get past the 6th inning in most starts, no matter how well he is pitching. If that's the case, he won't win many games even if he pitches up to his potential.

(3) Brandon Inge will hit .260 or higher.

Inge's career average is under .240 and he hit barely above the Mendoza line at .205 last year. His 2008 season was a complete disaster as he was yanked all over the field, never getting enough time to settle down, and ultimately was forced to play catcher, his least favorite position on the diamond. This year, his job is set in stone: he's absolutely the starting third baseman. From Opening Day until the 162nd game, he will know exactly where he will be on the field. I expect him to take advantage of that stability and have his best season at the plate, at least in terms of batting average.

(4) Miguel Cabrera will hit 45 or more home runs.

Last season, Cabrera got off to a terribly slow start as he adjusted to his new team, a new position, the pressure of his monstrous contract, playing in the American League for the first time, and the cold weather of Detroit in April, yet he still finished the year with 37 home runs. This season, no excuses. He's set at first base and he should be adjusted to the AL style of pitching. I expect him to get off to a hot start and never look back on his way to an MVP type season.

(5) The Tigers will win the AL Central.

The division is wide open this year, and the Tigers are flying under the radar a bit, which I love. I think they are going to surprise a lot of people this year and play more to their 2006 level than their 2008 level. Most analysts point to the Tigers' pitching staff when they pick other teams in the Central to win. Personally, I don't get it. I would take the top three starters on the Tigers (Verlander, Jackson, Galarraga) over any other Central team's top three. Verlander is out to prove that his terrible year last year was a fluke. Jackson has the stuff to be the ace of the staff, and Galarraga's sinker will keep the Tigers in the vast majority of his starts this year. The Indians are giving freakin Carl Pavano a starting spot! How are people picking that team to win the division?

Go Tagers.

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Detroit4lyfe's Sunday Night Inspiration

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , ,

Unfortunately for some of you, there will be no Sunday Night Anti-Debreastants tonight. With Michigan State making the National Championship game and the official start to the 2009 MLB Season just hours away, there really shouldn't be anything for you to be depressed about. For those of you who just can't get jacked up, then I guess slit your wrists or whatever it is you wackos would normally do to deal with your depression; just don't get any blood on Detroit's parade right now. (Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any suicides that occur as a result of reading this post because we are just kidding and don't really want anyone to slit their wrists. Thanks).

Anyway, since Michigan State is in the National Championship game in Detroit there have been a lot of stories about how great this is for Detroit and how it provides an escape for those in Michigan who are going through a relatively tougher time than the rest of the country. Frankly, we all know that Michigan State isn't going to single handily reverse the fortunes of the city or the state. Sure we joke about it, but for a city of believers and hard workers it does provide inspiration. It instills a sense of hope that makes us think that this has happened for a reason and that just maybe, something like this can help ignite an otherwise fading city. If anything, as I said, it certainly serves as a distraction until the state gets back to working hard to overcome these hardships. As Eminem said in his great tribute to Detroit before yesterday's semi-final game on CBS, "we may be down, but we'll never be out."

I wanted to share the videos that have been shown in the past couple days. Unfortunately, I couldn't find a couple on the internet. I was able to find one that aired on Sportscenter today. It's presented by Michigander, Mike Tirico. I think it really gets the message across nicely:





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Unsung Player Day: Walter Herrmann (DET)

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,















'With Malice' has declared April 5th Unsung Hero Day and I am making my submission. I think selecting WALTER HERRMANN aka Fabio is the right choice for the Detroit Pistons.

First of all, pure physical attributes alone could win Walter Herrmann this honor. The long greasy blond hair, furrowed eye brows with the look in his eye that could get any unsuspecting female in the hay, and his enormous banana hands that make a basketball look like a slightly over sized orange are all characteristics worthy of recognition. Fans who don't visit the Pistons website on a daily basis may not know this, but the Pistons even advertised their ladies' night at the Palace with Herrmann's face. I imagine there were thousands of chicks at that game, swooning at the sight of him. (A quick note: Great marketing job by the Pistons. As you may not know, Herrmann's from Argentina and their women are absolutely babe-alicious. I'm sure the Pistons were thinking that Herrmann's looks and allegiences to the country would at least attract a few more lookers. Kudos Pistons).

As for basketball, well, Hermann is just okay but everyone knows he gives it his all when given the chance. He doesn't really get a fair shot, despite being 6'9 with some of the biggest hands I've ever seen. He plays with a crooked smile all the time and almost once a game (when he plays), he palms the ball with one hand and takes three large steps past his defender and puts up some ridiculous circus shot (or maybe it's "sensational?") Either way, it's quite a display and he's a fan favorite.

He only averages 3.8 PPG (5 PPG in his career) and is shooting a less than desired 40% from the field this season, but I did a little research to see just how good Hermann could be if he got some regular minutes.

This season he has only played more than 15 minutes ten times. (I single out those ten games because those are the games where you can conceivably argue that he got enough minutes to warm up and show what he really could do. And those ten games are what really make his minutes per game sky rocket. He would be down in the 3-7 minute range had it not been for these ten games. In fact, he received zero minutes for almost three months during this season).

Now, you might be thinking, "well he should feel so lucky with playing plus 15 minutes in ten games," but wrap your minds around this. In those ten games, Walter Herrmann is averaging 11.3 PPG in just 19 minutes per game. Just for comparison, Tayshaun Prince starts, averages 37.8 minutes per game, and only averages 14.3 PPG. Herrmann could arguably be averaging 20+ PPG if he got those type of minutes. It should also be noted, that Herrmann is shooting 55% from the field in those games. Also, in a few of those games he only took three shots, so that average could be even higher with more shot opportunities.

Now I'm not saying I think Herrmann should start over Tayshaun Prince, or anyone for that matter, because that would probably make me certifiably insane. I am saying, however, that Herrmann is a solid NBA player, an unsung hero if you will, and could provide even more if he was given quality minutes.

I do think Coach Michael Curry is becoming aware of his abilities, though. In the past couple months, Walter Herrmann has been inserted into the lineup during the waning seconds of close games. In about four or five of those games, he has taken the last shot (game tying or game winning). He finally knocked one down against Miami a couple weeks ago to give the Pistons a one point lead with thirteen seconds left, but that was too much time for Dwayne Wade and the Heat as Miami ended up pulling that one out.

As I said before, Herrmann does everything with an exra level of energy that symbolizes an unsung hero. He has monstrous hands, goldilocks, pizzaz, and a passion that a few of the other Pistons' players could use during this stretch run to help get them into the playoffs and beyond the first round.

Walter Herrmann is my Unsung Player. And after seeing the following video I think he would be yours too:





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I Just Tom J-Izzo'ed in My Pants

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,

MSU going to the National Championship game. Here's a video to tell you exactly how Detroit4lyfe feels:


Sparty on Garth.

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Live Blogcast: Final Four from Detroit; Michigan State vs. UConn; 6:07 PM EST

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , ,


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It's the Effing Final Four at Ford Field

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , , , ,

You know how in the movie "Step Brothers" they show near the end of the movie Brennan (Will Ferrell) and Dale's (John C. Reilly) family saying, "it's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer," after their huge performance of 'Por Ti Valore' (with a little 'Boats and Hoes'). That's exactly how it is with the Final Four in Detroit--it's the effing Final Four at Ford Field (one humongous alliteration). Watch this video and just imagine, "It's the fucking Final Four at Ford Field" is being said instead:


Anyway, it's a big deal and it calls for a standing ovation and everything that comes with one of those (goosebumps, big shit eating grins, and inner thigh tingling sensations). Michigan State will lead things off against those pesky Huskies from UConn at 6:07 PM EST (all big events need to start at an obscure time). North Carolina will follow against the Wildcats of VillaChampagneSupernova (great song) around 8:47 PM EST.

North Carolina is probably the favorite of these four teams because if they don't win then Barack Obama will have made his first biggest mistake as President of the United States and America doesn't want that to happen. Seriously though, UNC has gotten scorching hot at the right time. They are playing pretty flawless as they have won by an average of 22.5 points in their four games this tournament. They are led by junior guard Ty Lawson (20.3 PPG in the tournament) senior four time All-American Tyler "Psycho T" Hansbrough (17.2 PPG and I prounounce that HansBRA), and Wayne Ellington (19 PPG in the tournament).

Ty Lawson is battling a painful toe injury, yet has still been playing like he is one of the best guards in the nation. Hansbrough is the heart and soul of this team as everything pretty much revolves around what kind of presence he has on the floor. His eyes and jaw are always wide open which can be very deceiving for opponents guarding him because it looks like he could be getting the ball, a lap dance, or his cat just died at any point. Great decoy effect. Ellington has surprised me mainly because when you think of UNC you think of the aforementioned, not really Wayne Ellington. However, he's just as important as those other two and has been having a tremendous season and even better tournament. UNC is coached by Roy Williams, when he's not doing Coke commercials. This is going to be a tough team to beat.

The team with the best chance to do that though is probably the Villanova Wildcats. The Wildcats are coming off of what was probably the greatest game in this tournament, a 76-75 victory over armPitt. Scottie Reynolds knocked down a shot in the paint with 0.5 seconds on the clock and Pitt's desperation hail mary at the buzzer was just off the mark. They are led by senior big man F Dante Cunningham (17.5 PPG) and senior guard Dwayne Anderson (17 PPG). It will be very interesting to see if Hansbrough can stop Cunningham and how Cunningham will do defensively against Pscyho T. The 'Cats are coached by Jay Wright who is in his eighth season at Villanova. Villanova is by far the biggest underdog coming into the Final Four seeing as they are stacked up against two No. 1s and a Michigan State team virtually playing at home. However, the Wildcats have arguably had the toughest road (American, UCLA, Duke, and Pitt) to the Final Four which could mean they are battle proof and more than ready to prove the oddsmakers wrong. It could also mean they are worn out and it will be another 20+ point win for UNC. We'll see.

University of Connecticut are another Big East school that has had a tough road to the Final Four (Chatt, Texas A&M, Miss, and Purdue). They are led by team Twitterer, 7'3" C Hasheem Thabeet (11.5 PPG, 11.25 RPG), A.J. Price (20 PPG), F Jeff Adrien (14 PPG) and freshman guard Kemba Walker. They have a lot of weapons on offense, as they can beat you down low with Cunningham or outside with their perimeter shooters. This team has battled through adversity as their long-time coach Jim Calhoun (23 years) has struggled through some health problems and the school has faced difficult questions regarding possible recruiting violations. The scary thing is that this could bring a team that is already very tight knit even closer. Or it could be their demise as the Final Four brings a whole lot more pressure, media coverage and thus, scrutiny.




Last, and certainly not least, there are the Michigan State Spartans of East Lansing, Michigan. Led by the firery passion of fifth year senior, Goran Suton (19 PPG, 11.5 RPG), MSU has made a remarkable run to the Final Four where they will be playing in their home state at Ford Field. The Spartans have not been led by just one man though. They have received great play from Kalin Lucas, Travis Walton, Durrell Summers, and Raymer Morgan--all who have made special contributions. They suffocated Louisville's offense last week in the Elite Eight with stellar defense that propelled them to a convincing 64-52 win. Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year, Travis Walton will have the tough task of checking AJ Price and MSU big men will try to handle Thabeet down low. I have no doubt that coach Tom Izzo (14 years) will have a game plan set up that will limit UConn's great scoring capabilities.

A lot has been said about MSU playing in their home state with the inspiration of helping a city that is dealing with a crumbling economy. Certainly, it gives me goosebumps just thinking about how great this could be for the state of Michigan as a whole. The fact the event is being held in Detroit is great in and of itself, but a MSU championship would mean so much more (let's just hope fans behave if that happens--Detroit takes enough shit from people we don't need to be giving them anymore reason to). It should be known that MSU is 0-2 at Ford Field in the stadium's seven year history with losses to Kentucky in 2003 and UNC this past winter. However, if it's going to feel anything like it does at the Breslin Center for the Spartans, they have a great shot as Izzo's career home winning percentage is somewhere in the 80 percent range. This could be a very special Final Four for the Spartans if they continue to play as tough as they have thus far because "players play, tough players win" (Tom Izzo).

BallHype: hype it up!

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