Lions Do Whatever It Takes to Lose

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in , , ,


One good thing about today's game: Jason Hanson is now the NFL's all-time leading field goal kicker from 50+ yards. Cheers to having the NFL's best kicker.


It almost appears as if the Lions have hopped on the 0-16 bandwagon and are purposely trying to lose. In what was a very winnable game in Indianapolis turned into just another Sunday's work for the now 0-14 Detroit Lions.

Detroit sure does know how to keep real fans on the edge of their seat though. Down 21-13 in the fourth quarter, Orlovsky resembled an NFL quarterback and led his similarly impersonating team on a Detroit Lions circa 1957 epic drive that resulted in a remarkable touchdown run after the catch by Calvin "Megatron" Johnson. The Lions' drive had good play calling, big third down pick ups, and shockingly even a little swagger. I hadn't seen a Lions drive like that since I personally drove the team down the field in a Madden 2006 video game. It was stellar. To cap things off, the Lions ran an amazing two-point conversion play that succeeded. It was so amazing that Chip even texted me that the Lions were going to the Super Bowl. I couldn't have agreed more as the Lions looked confusingly good. I must have looked silly in all my Lions gear jumping up and down in the bar, dousing the people in the booth next to me with beer like they were the head coach and the Lions were well on their way to the 'ship.

All that only to have the Lions revert back to their true colors of Honolulu Blue and shit.

The Colts followed the uncharacteristic Lions drive with an easy touchdown drive of their own to all but seal the deal. In the end, Indianopolis were the victors, 31-21 and the Lions remained overfeated.

Lions play their final home game of the season next Sunday against a Saints team that no longer has anything to play for, but pride and perhaps a better draft pick. It should be a very good matchup. I'm guessing there will be about 700 yards passing in that game; about 500 coming from the Saints. We shall see.

Meanwhile, for those of you who are reading this and the Sunday Night game is still going on, please, please root against the Cowboys kicking any field goals or scoring more than three touchdowns. I am currently up 3.5 points in my fantasy league and my opponent has Nick Folk, the Dallas kicker. If anyone is in the Dallas area and wants to kidnap the man, I'm all for that too. I'm guessing that the chances of preventing the Cowboys from scoring at least one touchdown and kicking a field goal are pretty slim, but either way I'll be praying for laces in all night long.

Sometimes the way the Lions play it makes me think the water boy poured an entire bottle of muscle relaxant into their Gatorade jugs. Observe.

1 comments

Sondra Fortunato   says 7:19 PM

Bobby B.,

I have an idea for your article today....

http://bumpshack.com/2008/12/15/giants-busty-slutty-fan-sondra-fortunato-photos/

AND

http://sports.yahoo.com/top/news?slug=ap-flamboyantfan&prov=ap&type=lgns

I know you love boobies Bobby B.!!

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