Ohhhhhhhhh and Eight

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in ,

I wrote an article last week about how the Lions seventh loss of the season was 99.99999 (repeating of course) percent characteristic of all their losses. Week 9 was no different.

Today the Lions teased us Detroit fans some more by blowing a 10 point lead in Chicago en route to losing 27-23. Allow me to take you through another day at the circus with the Lions.

Aside from losing in the first quarter again, 10-0, the Lions came out strong in the second quarter with a touchdown. Sure enough, Jason Hanson slips on a banana peel and misses the extra point. Not a big deal to most football people, but any Lions fan knows this will turn out to be a very big deal.

The Lions allow us to forget about that missed extra point by building a ten point lead heading into the second half by scoring 23 points! Hanson redeemed himself with a huge 52 yard field goal and Dan Orlovsky actually looked like an NFL quarterback for most of the half.

After being held scoreless in the third and allowing a touchdown, the fourth quarter began with the Lions hanging on to a three point lead and me barely hanging on to my lunch. I knew what was coming, but I didn't want to admit any weakness.

The Lions were driving to start the fourth quarter, in Bears territory, when Orlovsky decides he no longer wants to be any different from all the past Detroit Lions quarterbacks. He throws an interception in the end zone, losing the Lions a chance to gain at least three points, if not seven.

The Lions did get the ball right back after a Rex Grossman interception. Rex is a free agent after the season, so I'm assuming this interception was his official try out for the Lions. I guess you could say he has the right idea on how to be a Detroit Lions QB.

I digress. Detroit and Chicago play hot potato with the football for the next few possessions. Chicago finally decides enough is enough and drive down the field to the Lions one yard line. This is when I couldn't hold my lunch in anymore. With about six minutes remaining in the game, and the Bears on the Lions one yard line, Detroit decides to take a terrible timeout.

I puke on my keyboard, right on cue.

The Bears are on the one yard line. Detroit took the time out because apparently there were 12 men on the field. Who cares? Take the HALF yard penalty, let them punch it in and keep your three timeouts. Instead, they waste a timeout and still give up a touchdown. Lions trail by four points, 27-23.

Lions got a couple more opportunities thanks to their defense. Then with three minutes remaining a dump pass to TE Gaines that would have put the Lions into Chicago territory ends in a fumble, turning it over to the Bears.

Again, the defense makes a stop and makes us fans think we have some hope. However, let's go back to the meaningless timeout we burned when the Bears had the ball at the one yard line of Detroit. After utilizing our last two during our defensive stop, instead of being able to stop the clock near the two minute mark on fourth down, the Bears are able to run the time all the way down to just over a minute.

The Lions continue to tickle us fans below the belt as they drove into Chicago territory. All to no avail though, because of Jason Hanson's slippage earlier in the game. Instead of a game tying FG, we have to score a touchdown and sure enough it doesn't happen. The Lions lose by four points as a last second hail mary fell to the ground.

Another Lions loss. 0-8. Officially half way through the season and the Lions are left jinxed like the O'Doyle family in Billy Madison. A banana peel forces a minor slip that slings them over a cliff to their death. In the Lions case, they have been falling fast for a long time now, finding new ways to lose every week. This week, it was our best player slipping on the turf in the second quarter that prohibited us from kicking a game tying field goal in the end. "Ohhhhhh man" is the common expression after such Lions defeats, but today all I can say is, "Ohhhhhh and eight."

UNITY

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