1,957 Reasons Why the Lions Won't Start 0-3

Posted by Bob Biscigliano in

Ok I don't have any where close to that many reasons. In fact, I don't even have five. I do know one thing for sure though: The Lions won an NFL championship in the year 1957. In that year, the Lions lost to the 49ers in San Francisco during the regular season and then beat them in the playoffs to win the Western Conference Championship. So even if we do lose Sunday, we can hang our brown paper bags on that.

Exactly what is going on? The Lions were 4-0 in the preseason and looked to be legit. Clearly, everyone was shocked to see the Lions start 0-2, and look really bad while doing it. I'm not completely convinced that they are this bad though. Besides, what is the big deal with going 0-2 anyway? There are other 0-2 teams with hope right now. I know the others have not lost quite as badly as the Lions have, but 0-2 is 0-2 no matter how you look at it in the standings. Then again, if you would have told me last year that the 0-2 Giants were going to win the Super Bowl, I would have slapped you in the face with a Jonas Brothers CD and said, "And Grizzly Adams had a beard." Now, I'm not claiminig the Lions are going to the Super Bowl, or maybe I am, all I'm saying is the Lions are going to win tomorrow.

The main reason, and only reason I have, that the 0-2 Lions will beat the 49ers in San Francisco against former O-coordinator Mike Martz and their former BACKUP QB JT O'Sullivan is that they HAVE to win. If they lose, they will fall to 0-3 and all the wise cracks and "Fire Millen" signs will rise for yet another week. I can't afford to spend another Sunday night eating a full tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and drink beer while watching Detroit Lions "We'll Get 'Em Next Year' pump up videos on YouTube trying to cheer myself up. My girlfriend will also attest that my developing gut can't afford another Lions meltdown this Sunday. Some of you are probably thinking, "you must be 400 pounds now, or even dead, because the Lions have always sucked."

You bite your tongue. This year is different to me. The Lions really convinced me this off season that they were for real. Going 4-0 in the preseason set the bar even higher. I was all jacked up on mountain dew for the Lions to be good and I really dedicated my hopes and dreams to their 2008 season. I was even considering changing my daily prayers from,"in the name of the Lord I pray" to "in the name of Jon Kitna I pray." (I'm very thankful I didn't do that.) That's how serious I was about the Lions though. Long story short, if the Lions don't win tomorrow, I will be crushed.

Now let's say by some very small percentage points of a chance that they don't win tomorrow. Aside from the fact that I will probably finish my 40 OZ tub of cookie dough I have on ice for every Sunday night, I will remain somewhat positive and need only to point everyone to the 1995 Lions to show that a team can start 0-3 and still make the playoffs. Personally, I think the Lions will be doing this dance in the locker room after the game.....



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