I've Been to the Playboy Grotto and Back...

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

Anyone else notice Manny Ramirez somewhat HUSTLING during pre-game in the background???

Well not quite. I went to the grotto at the Cyprus Lake National Park in Ontario, Canada this past weekend in the midst of attending my girlfriend's family reunion and celebrating America's birthday. As Un-American as all that sounds, I assure you I did not partake in any other Canadian customs, such as spending loonies on crunchies and Carling Lights or wearing a Canadian tuxedo while mowing the lawn. The entire weekend was nice, but my love for America is monagomous. I wish we could all say the same thing about Alex Rodriguez.

During the drive home from C-eh-N-eh-D-eh, I was following the Tigers/Mariners extra inning extravaganza. I got home just in time to see the Tigers face the Mariners back up catcher take the mound in the 15th inning. It was little surprise to me that Miguel Cabrera doubled off the center field wall to start the inning. However, what really rubbed me wrong like a bad middle school hand job was that the Tigers failed to register a 2nd hit and only scored a single run in the inning. Either that lone run was a testament to their faith in Todd Jones, or it symbolizes them having a really bad road trip. I think all you avid Tiger fans can figure out which is the real reason here. With that being said, I am happy with the way the Tigers came out and played against the Indians in the first of six home games before the All-Star break. They drubbed the CC'less Indians 9-2. Unfortunately, those pesky, smelly White Sox that you just cannot find in your messy room amongst all your dirty clothes continue to find ways to keep on winning. The Tigers remain 6 games out of first place and I'm convinced that the magic number there is 5 before the break or else the Tigers will have plenty of time to plan their respective Halloween parties and watch the Lions before their mathematically eliminated from the playoffs.

Speaking of the All-Star game, I want to take this time now to discuss how much of a joke the All-Star voting was this year. The players in the AL will by no means represent the best players from the league. 6 of the 9 starters in the AL are Red Sox/Yankees players and neither of those teams are in first place in their division. I'm not going to say much because Dupree is going to write a post about this topic alone, but I just want to say how disgruntled I am over this. Wouldn't it make sense for the fans, players, and coaches to pick the BEST players in the league so that their A.L. team will get home field advantage in the World Series if they make it??? That would make more sense to me than picking Jason Varitek. Only excuse for picking him is that he was hitting very well, maybe top 5 in the AL for catchers, when the players voted almost a month ago! I guess the solution there would be to hold off on the voting until the very last 3-5 days because then players voted in will not be able to get into Varitek-like slumps that drop their average to mendoza line territory. Pathetic.

Lastly, I want to discuss the word "mondegreen." It' a word or phrase resulting from a misinterpretation of a word or phrase that has been heard. This happens A LOT with song lyrics. What's your biggest DERP mondegreen with song lyrics??? Mine would have to come from Manfred Man's "Blinded by the Light." I've often misunderstood the lyrics as being "Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche," when it is really, "blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce." A little while ago, probably like ten minutes ago, I learned those weren't the lyrics but I will forever use my interpretation of the lyrics because they make more sense to me. Leave me your mondegreens.



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