Triumphant Return and Ramblings

Posted by Chip Stevenson

You don't have to tell me.  You can keep it to yourself.  It's ok, seriously... I KNOW you have missed me terribly.  Indeed, I have been MIA for a little while in order to do some soul searching.  You see, my friends and I entered a softball tournament a couple weekends back.  We had thought long and hard about which division we should join and finally decided on joining the lower league as a sort of "warm up" for the rest of the Summer that we thought would be filled with web gems, giant taters, rehearsed home run trots and winning.  Well, things didn't exactly fall into place, and the results catapulted me into a downward spiral from which I am just now recovering...

After losing both games to guys who had entered, enjoyed, and left their athletic prime before I was even conceived, I needed to take a little break from sports to gather my thoughts, reevaluate my existence, and maybe change the direction of my life.  

I have triumphantly emerged from my desperate state refreshed and ready to rock the socks of this freaking blog.  I just showered for the first time in months (yes, the softball tournament that started this whole state of depression was only like a week ago... sue me), shaved for the first time in my life (Mr. Bowbeer would be proud), and I finally took off my jock strap that Black and Brew knows I so proudly wore during the softball tournament.  So here goes nothing, a post of random thoughts and ramblings about the last couple weeks in sports...

-The Tags just had their 6 game winning streak snapped by the Giants as Fernando Rodney blew it in his first game this season.  Rodney threw his first two pitches of the season for strikes in a pressure situation, and he walked around the mound with that nasty swagger that basically the whole team has adopted during the last week.  Great to see.......... and then he gave up a game breaking home run and it looked like his confidence was shattered.  He has worked hard to get back to The Show only to blow the first game he appeared in and I really hope that he comes back strong next time out.  While I always thought he was a little overrated, he can be a key component of the bullpen if he keeps his head on straight after that outing.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed that his distinctive swagger comes back for the rest of the season.

- I joined a gym for the Summer, and I thought that it would involve a little cardio work, some lifting, maybe some basketball every now and then.  What I did not expect and what I have experienced wayyyyy too often so far is seeing naked old men in the locker room.  Look, I understand that we are supposed to be comfortable in our bodies and all of that but why do we feel that when we shower in a public place it's ok to take off our towel to show the world what we are really made of and hold said towel in our hands while we walk across the locker room?  Is it really that much of an inconvenience to just keep the towel on until we reach our locker or something?  Sheesh, Dupree is having visions of these naked men whenever he closes his eyes and I think it's time for this practice to come to an end. 

- Tragically, it looks like the Celtics are going to win the NBA championship.  I hate Boston sports more than anything, and I usually can't stand the idea of Boston sports fans being happy.  But I have to admit that I'm not that upset about the Celtics winning... It's not because I respect Kevin Garnett or that I think Paul Pierce deserves a ring.  OOOOH  no.  It's because the only friend that I have that is a fan of Boston sports recently pooped his pants.  Go ahead and read that line again.  Let it soak in.  He is a 20 something year old male who normally has control over his bowels, but they got the best of him a few weeks ago.  So whenever my blood starts to boil about Boston fans being happy, all I have to think about is the Bostonian adult who couldn't make it to the toilet in time.  I'm smiling as I write this.  Serenity now.

- I watched the US Open this past weekend and as we all know, Tiger Woods is absolutely incredible.  I read a story about him on Joe Posnanski's blog ( that I'd like to pass along to all of you.  You can go over there and read it because he is an unbelievable writer or you can take my little summary for what it's worth-  Tiger was giving a tour of this apparently famous golf course to a few lucky American Express card holders or something.  They reach a stunningly tough bunker on one of the holes, and one of the card holders asks Tiger if he would mind hitting a shot out of the trap to show them all how it's done.  Tiger politely declined.  The conversation moved along, but before they left the hole, someone asked if he would at least stand in the trap with his sand wedge or whatever for a photo opportunity.  Again, Tiger declined... well, at least he declined bringing a club into the trap.  Apparently, he never tried to hit a shot out of that bunker in his practice rounds either.  When asked why he wouldn't bring a club in there, Tiger replied something to the effect of, "Because I have absolutely no intention of being in that bunker. Ever."  Bad ass.



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