Grow Up and Act Like You've Been There Before

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

It looks like Bugs Bunny is puking all over him. "Ehh..Sorry about that, Doc."

I was going to let the Celtics win their 17th championship and have their parade in peace. I did not want to say anything more about their winning of the championship because frankly, I am bitter about it. I've hated Paul Pierce more than anything since he and Antoine Walker beat us in the playoffs in 2002 and that hate grew like a raging Hulk after this year's defeat. Obviously, anything I say can, and probably will, be construed as pure bitterness. I don't care because it was a really boring playoff series and Chip's friend pooped his pants. Take this for what it's worth but I have to speak out on a few issues that have come to my attention about the....(cringe) Boston Celtics.

For appetizers, I've learned that the Celtics were less than classy during the final quarter of their blow out victory over the Lakers. I am going to give them the benefit of the doubt on this one because it's not clear how a team about to win the championship should act when absolutely destroying a team. I'm actually more disappointed in the Lakers getting blown out because a championship game should not be a blow out. (Although this series was pretty much summed up by this game. The excitement level of this series was about as high as an extra point in football). Either way, you can't ask the Celtics to tone it down obviously because they are about to win what they have been working, or buying, for all season. Then again when you are up more than 30 points, a 3 pointer by Ray Allen should not be reason for the scrubs to be jumping up and down on the sideline. Save the celebration for the closing minute and after the game. If you look back at the Pistons in 2004, the bench was certainly into the game, but were definitely not jumping up and down, or slapping the towel against the floor after every basket like Eddie House loves to do so much. Grow up.

The main purpose of this post is to send a message to Paul Pierce and the Celtics: Act like you've been there before. In the history of the NBA, there have been over 60 championship seasons, the Celtics have won 17 (cringe), and I have been alive for 23. In my 23 years of existence, I have never EVER seen an NBA champion pour the gatorade jug on his coach. I can think of 3 legitimate reasons for this: 1) the coaches wear very expensive Barney's type suits. 2) it makes the floors all sticky and creates more work for the janitors who already have to clean up confetti, sweat, pop corn, and peanut shells around the arena. 3) It's not an NBA tradition! I have never seen this happen in the NBA before. I know Paul Pierce has never ACTUALLY been there before, but that's no excuse to link 'NBA championshp' with 'gatorade shower for the coach.' Correct me if I'm wrong. The only excuse for doing this is if Pierce wanted to start something different, a new tradition, but I would never in a million light years think he is that smart and creative. Perhaps because the NBA playoffs have been refereed like a bunch of football games that Pierce grew confused as to what kind of championship he was about to win. Other than that, all I can say is act like you've been there 16 times before.

Keeping with the theme of the post I will give a short list of other instances in which I think people should act like they've been there before with a few "He acts like he's been there before" examples mixed in there:

- The people who get to the front of the line at fast food restaurants and take forever with their order because they aren't quite sure what they want yet. Most fast food chains have been around for decades. People usually have an idea what the restaurant has to offer. When you get to the front of line (and especially if you were waiting in a long line) know what you want to order. Act like you've been there before.

- A guy that defintely acts like he's been there before and plans to be there a lot more times is Bengals' WR Chad Johnson. I think he serves as a great role model for young receivers who botch their celebrations and don't act like they've been there before. Chad is known and loved mainly for his creativity with his end zone celebrations. It makes the game more enjoyable and definitely gets fans (even if they are not Bengals fans) to root for him to score. I think this is a great example of Chad acting like he's been there before. He creates his celebration before it ever happens and knows exactly what he will do when he gets there again. He acts like he's been there before.

- I've heard the phrase "act like you've been there" the most probably after a baseball player hits a home run. A lot of times, a player might pimp the home run or pump fist all the way around the bases with a shit eating grin on his face. Unless it's a close game and the homer is a walk off or a game changing one, this type of behavior is considered bush. As a result a guy like me might yell 'act like you've been there before' and then probably hit the next hitter square in the back leading to a brawl where I will steal the bat of the hitter and crush his skull. That's neither here nor there though. I don't care if it's your first career home run: act like you've been there before. Another thing... for the teams that greet a normal, mid game home run hitter at home plate: act like it's NOT a walk off home run, and act like you've seen one before. High five him at the top of the dugout and act like you've been there before.

-Good example of a guy acting like he's been there before: Chip Stevenson birdied hole #9 of the Beech Woods golf course yesterday. After making his birdie putt, he gave a short, mild fist pump because he birdied; and of course because he realized he beat me, a very very very good golfer. When I made my first birdie 13 years ago, I was jumping up and down and talking about it all day. Chip acted like he's been there before even though he's never EVER made a birdie putt before in his life. I think he had his first par yesterday too. He acted so cool and collective that I would have never guessed it. Kudos to Chip.

Speaking of Chip I would love to congratulate him (through the blog) on him attending Ohio State Law School this coming fall. Ohio State has extraordinary graduate programs and I know Chip is going to do very well there at the law school. Ohio State and I have never liked eachother, but we have agreed to be on good terms while Chip attends there for 3 years. Congrats Chip and remember...there has always been a dot above the letter 'i.' Ohio State did not create that tradition. Go Blue but most importantly, go You.

I would like to leave you with a video of some Massholes celebrating the Celtics championship on the streets of Boston. Although this is quite entertaining and I am impressed that they found three do not enter signs near the same area I still have to say: act like you've been there before....



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