Stiff as a Board and Bright Green

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

I will dedicate approximately only 5 lines to the terrible Tigers tonight: They held a player's only meeting before today's game and came out as flat as Keira Knightly's chest, losing 8-4 to the Royals. They fell to 0-6 against them this year, and 9 games under .500. Their 2003 impersonation is getting so old.

In other Detroit sporting news, the Detroit Lions have announced that their Defensive system will remain the same. Here is the headline from their website today, in case you don't believe me: "The Defensive System will Stay the Same." This concerns me greatly. The Lions were on Sportscenter this evening and bashed pretty severely. They were ranked as the 30th best team in the NFL (out of 32), despite winning 7 games last year and being one of the best teams in the leage after the 8 game mark. Once again, Jon Kitna has set the 2008 Lions win total at 10, saying that it would be an utter disappointment if the Lions did not achieve that mark. The Free Press countered his Guaransheed with a compelling article stating that the Lions should start Drew Stanton instead. I completely disagree. I do not want a coward starting at quarterback for the Lions. Drew Stanton walked me on 4 pitches in HS when he was a pitcher for FH Harrison and that is why he is a huge coward. Besides, Jon Kitna is a man of God. That's the end of that controversy. (I would also like to add that I love the Lions 2008 schedule. I will be able to attend their first game of the year at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta on Sept. 7th and then have plenty of reason to travel up to Charlotte Nov. 16th for their game against the Panthers. If I'm able to go to Thanksgiving day game again and a game over Xmas break, I will be able to attend more games this coming season than I have since I was a boy during the Barry Sanders era. Yahooo!...with a little rum.).

The Pistons announced that Chauncey Billups will play in game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals despite having a bum hamstring. This is completely opposite of Nicholas Packey, who will be travelling around Davidson College this coming weekend on crutches because of his bum hamstring. Both stories are completely unrelated.

Although tonight was my famous last visit to the Brickhouse tavern during my college career, most likely even EVER, I will save the "Famous Lasts" post for later. I hope you enjoyed your little taste of Detroit tonight. I'm sorry I left a little bit of a bad taste in your mouth. I promise the next post will be funnier, more fun, and more positive. Until next time though.... males should continue to check their balls out for lumps of cancer and STDs. Good looking out.



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