Preparing for the Worst

Posted by Chip Stevenson


So the Tags have played 39 games so far, exactly 24% of the season.  I've watched basically every game of the year and I feel like I'm in one of those nightmares where you know you are dreaming, you know you are scared, you know you are about to have that onion stuffed in your mouth by Sloth from The Goonies and all you want to do is scream, yet you can't make yourself wake up.   As much as I hate thinking about baseball right now when there are much better things to think about like the Red Wings, Pistons and my favorite cougar (what do you think she is thinking about? *sigh*), I still can't get them out of my mind.  Here are some ominous stats from the season so far...


... They are 0-20 in games in which they score less than 5 runs.  First, this shows that we obviously have not been pitching well enough.  Our starters have the worst era in the league, and even when we do get a good start like we did tonight from Nate Robertson, we blow it late in the game.  Second, our offense that was supposed to come close to scoring 1,000 runs this season is scoring less than 5 runs a game in more than 50% of their games so far.  Pathetic.  When we bring up a guy like Matt Joyce who was barely even a prospect before the season started to bring some power to the lineup, you know we are in trouble.  We have guys like Gary Sheffield, Magglio Ordonez, Miguel Cabrera, and Carlos Guillen, but we are reduced to looking for that power boost from Matt freakin Joyce. 

... They have been shutout 5 times already this year.  Last year we were only shutout in 3 games all year!  It's seriously mind boggling how bad our hitting has been this year.  They came into the year with so much hype and were supposed to be so formidable, but they have played so ridiculously bad that I'm almost embarrassed for them. 

... They are 0 and 4 against the ROYALS this year!!!!  What the hell?  When have the Royals ever been associated with winning anything other than losing the most?  I haven't done any research about this but I'm certain when I say that no team that is even close to good has lost 4 straight games to the Royals in the history of the world. 

... Finally, the thing that scares me the MOST about this year so far is that Todd Jones has not blown a save yet.  For the past two years, our most disappointing losses have come from the hands of the Rollercoaster.  I'm actually a fan of his-  I can live with his shaky innings because he gets the job done most of the time.  Still, he hasn't contributed any of his patented meltdowns so far this year, and I can't imagine how much it's going to hurt when he finally does have the obligatory Todd Jones 5 run 9th inning when he comes in with a 4 run lead.  

I'm quickly losing faith that the Tags can turn it around.  We started the year 0 and 7 and we are now 16-23 so we've been playing .500 ball for the last 30+ games.  Maybe that's just who we are- a completely disappointing, average team.  I'm still hoping for the best, but I'm now starting to expect the worst.  Too bad.

At least we still have the Wings and the Pistons.

-Chip S.

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