No Hitting Zone

Posted by Dupree

Happy Birthday to me. On account of the fact that I've had final exams and it was my birthday this past weekend, I'm gonna go ahead and forgive myself for pushing my posting duties off til today. As you may have heard it was my 21st birthday and I obviously went to a local watering hole to celebrate. The highlight of my night was when one of my 62 brothers that I have called a lady standing outside of 7-11 a "hooker" because she called my friends father "old" (she was right, he is in fact old, 53 to be exact). The "hooker", as we will refer to her as, proceeded to approach us and slap him in the face. Local cops were actually already watching cuz as they have nothing better to do on Saturday night's, they like to sit outside 7-11 in East Lansing and watch for drunken brawls. Anyways, I walk over to the officer and say, "Excuse me occifer, she just slapped my brother"....and yes, I did say "occifer" instead of officer, I may or may not have had a couple adult beverages (Mike's Hard Lemonade of course). In light of the fact that I called them "occifer" they chose to ignore me and my ridiculously slurred words so we just went on our merry little way, got taco bell and passed out... pretty typical really.


Tigers lost tonight, aggggain. That makes it 5 in a row following the sweep of the Yankees when we all thought the sucking was done, but apparently they still have a little more suckiness left in the suck tank. Their hitting, or lack there of, makes me sick to my stomach. As I watched tonight I actually had to make multiple trips to the bathroom in order to vomit which may have been due to the fact that I had eaten an entire hot-n-ready in 30 minutes but I'd instead like to blame it on the Tigers pitiful hitting. They made Tim Wakefield look like Steve Sparks out there tonight. At one point, Wakefield BLEW Curtis Granderson away with a blazing 74 mph fastball down the pipe. Now Curtis has been hitting well so I'll lay off him but I just wanted to point out the fact that the Tigers couldn't have hit the ball even if we had put Haggerty's grenade throwing arm out there on the mound. Anyways, Tigers hitting is abysmal right now and they need to step it up and get out of the no hitting zone before they fall too deep into the cellar of the A.L. central.


On another note, Kobe Bryant won his first regular season MVP award today. Congratulations Kobe. I do feel that he is somewhat deserving of the award even though in my mind it should have gone to Chris Paul since it was quite obvious that it was in fact Pau Gasol who put the Lakers over the top and made them into the favorite in the west that they are today.

Anyyywho, I'd like to show you all the sign that I saw posted in the Tigers dugout....




Mayybe, just maybe they should take it down.


But til next time,

Dupree

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