Late Night Tornado of Thoughts

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

Well... the Tigers ended their 3 game winning streak tonight by a score of a lot to Ahhhh run. You know the Tigers were absolutely horrible when you go on Detroittigers.com and the game-ly highlight video is a sacrifice fly that brings in the only run of the game....of an 11-1 loss. That's pathetic. I'm actually pissed at the website editors for this. Either leave the sweet highlights from the amazing win the night before or show another game, like Manny Ramirez's 2 home runs or a live feed of the Padres/Rockies game that is STILL going on (Bottom of the 17th). Me and other Tiger fans do not want to see a sac fly that brought in the lone run of a horrible loss. It is haunting and brings back piss poor memories. My message to detroittigers.com, in the famous words of the 2-5: Have a better approach and get better, F.

Zach "I Belong in the Minors, AGAIN" Miner got absolutely lit up like the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 4th of July. He had zero approach and set up the tee for Cleveland so they could do what they wanted with it. I even heard fireworks going off on him on July 5th. Watching him pitch made me puke up green nachos and get every question wrong at the Fox and Hound trivia night. In fact, Miner actually made Verlander look like he threw a no-hitter; and don't even get me started on Verlander. You wanna get me started?... Verlander is throwing slower, quick pitching by not taking any breaths which means he has no idea where the ball is going, and looks like he has lost about 25 pounds. Although his facial hair looks exactly the same as last year, he is pitching a lot worse. I am very concerned.

Anyway, the Chicken man starts the Tags 3 game series @ Toronto tomorrow night at 7:07 P.M. I'm so glad the game is not starting at 7:00 P.M. or else I would probably miss the first 5 pitches. I am predicting the Tigers to take 2 out of 3 in this series. Miguel will have 2 bombs.

In other sporting news, the Detroit Red Wings will look to redeem themselves as well as they face off against the Nashville Predators in Game 5 of a 2-2 series tomorrow night. Dominik Hasek has been benched in favor of Chris Osgood because Mike Bobbin'forcock realized that the Dominator is no longer impenetrable and is actually inflexible with a terrible accent. I'm pretty confident the Wizard of Ozgood will lead the Wings down the right brick road, whether it be yellow, red, or my front porch. Either way, if he and the rest of the Red Wings don't find the tin man, the scare crow and Jon Kitna soon, it will be another disappointing first round exit.

Your Detroit Pistons will start the playoffs vs. Fresh Prince's Philly this Sunday. I am not going to get too excited until they move past the first round because they should have no problem just as long as Rasheed doesn't make any Guaransheeds on opposite days again. Stay tuned though for some petty analysis here and there throughout the first round.

By the way....The Padres/Rockies are now in the bottom of the 20th inning. This game is tied 1-1 and the runs were both scored in the 14th inning. The pitching coaches and pitchers for both teams are grinning so much right now, Chip is repeatedly saying, "Quit grinning, dang." On the other hand, one announcer for the game is beginning to eat his baseball hat and the other has been laughing since the 15th inning because they are so damn hungry and/or insane from watching sooo much free baseball. Former Tiger, Wilfredo Ledezma, is pitching for the Padres right now and almost has a quality relief outting and I have no idea what that means (7 ip in relief with 3 runs or less?????). I am starting to freak out. I think I see Bruce Willis. I'm going to bed.

Before I leave though, I have inserted a funny commercial to commemorate Gary Sheffield stupidly getting thrown out at home plate with less than 2 outs, while not sliding, and killing the Tigers only real chance of rallying and winning (barring an impending Miner appearance). DERP

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