How Bizarre

Posted by Chip Stevenson

A lot of blogs do this "who would you rather have, player A or player B?" thing, and I sort of like it even though the answer is always predictably the most surprising one. So here is the very first "Who would you rather have?" post here on newly named Who would you rather have?

Pitcher A: 23 years old. righty. 220 pounds. 6 ft 2 in. Tops out at 90, throws a change up at about 82. has two pitches only. walks every single hitter who doesnt get a hit off of him. current era is 24.00. likes to lose games.

Pitcher B: 21 years old. righty. 175 pounds. 5 ft 11 on a good day. Used to maybe hit 80. throws an absolutely devastating slurve and always keeps the trusty ephus pitch in his back pocket, along with a change up that is better than eshelman's. walks only 2 hitters per 9 innings throughout his career. current era is 0.00. last game he pitched in was a dominating complete game shutout against the incredible Cranbrook Cranes in the playoffs so you KNOW he wants the ball in big situations. always has a positive attitude because attitude determines altitude. likes to win games.

I know, I know... tough decision. Well Pitcher A is actually Yorman Bazardo, bullpen extraordinare for the mighty 1-8 Detroit Tigers. I just finished watching him dust off the Red Sox with this line- 1 ip 3 hits 2 walks 4 er and dont forget about his 1 strikeout. This is right after the Tigers had clawed back into the game to get within two runs. Almost as devastating of a performance as Pitcher B's slurve. Real cool Bazardo.

Pitcher B is actually.... yours truly. I know, I could have added important information to my scouting report like how I struck out my very first hitter ever on a varsity team or how I once hit a kid in the face with a pitch and my Dad made me call him that night to see if he was ok or I could have included my story about the midget who I struck out. But I didnt and you know why? Because I'm the best at being humble and I didnt want to embarrass Bazardo too much. Obviously, everyone in their right mind would want me on the Tigers over that chump and I'll be waiting for Dombrowski's call. I'll even take the minimum Major League Baseball salary of $390,000 because I'm in it for the glory, not the money.
In the meantime, I'm off to New York City for the first time in my life tomorrow to scout out the Jankees before we play them later this month. Hopefully the Tigers will be undefeated when I get back.


I have printed those 3 pictures, put them together, and made a flip book that resembles the PERFECT pitching mechanics. Well done, sir.

Anonymous   says 8:28 PM

you WISH you had a change up like mine...don't be jealous

John "Owner of a Major League Caliber Change-Up" Eshelman

Post a Comment


In accordance with the Fair Use Copyright Law, Detroit4lyfe uses logos and registered trademarks to help inform the readers of D4L and to facilitate our hilarious banter.

Photos on Detroit4lyfe are, for the most part, used without permission but do not interfere with said owner's profit.

If you own a specific image on this site and want it removed, please e-mail us (Detroit4lyfe at gmail dot com) and we will be at first reluctant, yet ultimately happy to oblige.

Our Popularity

web stats

Link Referral

The topics tend to gravitate toward Detroit sports, but we also like outer space so sometimes there will be no gravity. Essentially, if you like sports with a humorous twang, this is the blog for you to bookmark4lyfe!


Blogs With Balls 1.0

Blogs With Balls 1.0
June 13, 2009 in NYC

Will the Wings Repeat as Stanley Cup Champions?

How Far Will the Pistons Go in the Playoffs?

Help Us Help You

Twitty Tweets

Topics We've Touched On

You Don't Know My Address...