Posted by Bob Biscigliano in celebrities r us
Besides pitching for the Swampdogs in the CPL, Bobby often played in the moon walk located behind him.
Detroit4lyfe.blogspot.com is absolutely soaring on the charts of Earth's Most Amazingest Blogs. We have currently leap frogged the "L4: Lindsey Lohan's Lesbian League" blog and the "I Chew Ice and Have a Longer Second Toe Than My Big Toe" blog to move into 3rd place overall. To be ballpark frank here, I think what we need to put us over the hump, and get us past Curtis Granderson and Todd Jones' blogs, is to do a real live celebrity interview every week. That means it's time for another celebrity interview.
This week I have ventured across the state of North Carolina to Boone to track down one of the hardest athlete's EVER to get a hold of: Unfortunately, Steph Curry was not available, so I found Bobby DeMuro-sidearm relief pitcher for the Davidson Wildcats NCAA D1 baseball team. Bobby DeMuro is a senior from Denver, Colorado who is probably the largest superstar athlete to read this blog, besides John Eshelman of course. Anyway, Bobby offered me a free interview and a key to his hotel room so that I could watch him sleep after we concluded the following interview:
ME: Ranch or Caesar dressing?
Bobby DeMuro: Caesar because I'm italian.
ME: Well, Chip already hates you. Let's move on.
ME: When did you first start playing baseball:
BD: I was 3 years old playing tee ball in the world famous, Southeast Denver Baseball League. My first team was the Reds. Later, I played for the Mud Hens. Then I went back to the Reds.
ME: That's not very interesting.
ME: What are your favorite sports teams?
BD: The Nuggets, Bobcats, and whatever baseball team wants to sign me.
ME: Well, what if you don't get signed?
BD: I'll be living under a bridge somewhere trying to make the most of it. I hope to survive a few months and find a pet squirrel.
ME: Have you ever seen 'Emperor's New Groove'? It's cute. The guy talks to squirrels.
BD: (Blank stare)
ME: Moving on...
ME: When did you first decide you wanted to play Major League Baseball:
BD: It was after my sophomore year of high school. I saw a minor league game when we were down in Florida for a tournament. I thought it would be sweet to play that far, let alone in the majors. I decided then that I wanted to play for as long as I could.
ME: That's what she said.
ME: Speaking of sex, one day, freshman year, Coach was pointed to your girlfriend at the time, who was sitting in the crowd at one of the Davidson baseball games. The person who pointed her out said, "That pretty girl is Bobby DeMuro's girlfriend." When Coach saw her he replied, "Eh... he must have a hammer down to his knees." What are your feelings about that comment?
BD: First and foremost, I'm flattered about the compliment I received from our Olympic esteemed baseball coach. With the credentials and experience he has had, that comment coming from him means a lot. Second, I can't deny the truth to the claim he made. Anybody who wants to find out, don't hesitate to look up my number. Preferably if you are female and weigh somewhere between 100 and 120 pounds.
ME: Very disturbing. I'm glad I've only had a piece of Bubblicious gum to eat in the past 3 hours.
ME: Why are you a sidearmer?
BD: I can't reach above my head. Little known fact. My arm doesn't go that high. That and I'm a HUGE wussy. Most sidearmers are, so that fits nicely.
ME: If you ever have kids, will you throw them sidearm BP?
BD: My daughters, Bianca and Libby, are going to play the piano. So... no.
ME: Will you tell people that you threw sidearm in 20 years?
BD: I'm gonna say yes, because every time I tell someone I throw sidearm they think it's really cool and nasty. I'll also tell them I threw 100 mph and struck out Ryan Howard. One of those two is true, I'll leave you to decide which one.
ME: You got me there. All I know is I would never tell people I threw sidearm.
ME: At this point in the interview I'm going to ask you a few either/or questions to pick between:
Lebron or Michael?
BD: He is the future of the NBA. Michael is the past.
ME: Jack Nicholson or Meg Ryan?
BD: Jack Nicholson now or 1974?
ME: Jack Nicholson 1974
BD: Meg Ryan
ME: Jason Grilli or me?
BD: Based on numbers or projectability?
BD: Frankly, you don't live under the pressure of his father like Jason Grilli does and the name Grilli sounds like girlie.
ME: I take back my rude sidearm comments.
ME: Chip really wanted me to ask you this one question... He wants to make it a part of every celebrity interview from now on...
ME: If you were in a pool of vomit and you were about to have a bucket of diarrhea dumped on you would you duck into the pool of vomit or just take the diarrhea like a man as it poured onto your head?
BD: Ah, a question for the ages. Would I close my eyes and mouth?
ME: Would you?
BD: I'm going to go with the unpopular answer here, but I'm going to go with the diarrhea because vomit makes me want to throw up.
ME: Who is going to win the 2008 World Series?
BD: St. Louis Cardinals
ME: Kindly Leave.
BD: No, really. Their injured pitching will recover in the middle of the season and they will make a run in the weak National League and find a way to beat somebody in the AL to win it. They will beat the Indians actually.
ME: When are you going to pick up your biggest liar in the Southern Conference Award?
BD: I'm going to pick the award up the same day as the Nuggets NBA championship parade. I also hear there is a 100 million dollar compensation, so I'm looking forward to putting that in the bank.
ME: Are you ever going to call Olowokandi back?
BD: If his entourage and my entourage was up for it, I would see if we could come up with something. I'm a do'er, I'm a problem solver. If a problem needs solving, I'm there to solve it.
ME: A baking powder?
At this point in the interview, Bobby passed out. I would like to take the time here to thank Bobby for being so kind to answer my questions, free of charge in his hotel room. It was a great honor to see how he lives on the road as a D1 superstar athlete. I am looking forward to speaking with him in the future as he lives with his daughters Bianca and Libby playing chopsticks for all the cars that pass by above them. No, really. Thanks again Bobby and best of luck to you. Don't tell Chad Bradford I said hi. But do tell Micah Owings for me that Chip thinks about him in inappropriate ways I can't describe on this public blog.