Smile If You're 6-2 and You Don't Floss

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

Alert Maury Povich! Shaun Rogers and the Detroit Lions are in fact the DADDY. The Lions decided to get silly, open a dozen cans of whoop ass, score 44 points, and make fun of Mike Shannahan's fake tan against the Denver Nachos Sunday afternoon. Adding insult to Cutler's injury, D12's Bizarre of all people rolled 66 yards for a touchdown after intercepting a Patrick Ramsey pass in the fourth quarter. As if the pick 6 wasn't bad enough, prior to barrel rolling into the endzone, Rogers decided to forearm shiver Selvin Young to the turf while saying, "Don't bring that koolaid to a grown mans party." After being carted off the field, Rogers was given a bowl of spaghetti-o's and oxygen, of which he ate the whole thing in 10 seconds.

Jon Kitna turned in another amazing performance, having not thrown an interception since our first meeting with the Bears in week 4. Despite the controversy this past week with his halloween costume, he quieted the analyst on ESPN that said this situation would be like the Scott Mitchell/Wayne Fontes halloween costume, ultimately leading to the team's demise.

Regardless, the Lions are 6-2 and headed to Arizona for sure..... next week for a game with the Cardinals. This will be a good chance for us to get accustomed to the area, scope out some local hot spots, get used to the heat and field conditions for the next time we play there in January for some thing most people like to call the Super Boner game.

In other news, George Blaha hasn't aged a bit and the Pistons have gotten off to a nice 3-0 start. They struggled with the Hawks tonight, but battled back in the fourth quarter to come out victoriously. Rasheed Wallace hasn't guaranteed anything yet, but I have. The Pistons will go further than the Boston Celtics this year. I bet Ray Allen gets hurt again and they don't make it past the first round of the playoffs. Call me in 6 months.

There has been some tragedy in the past few days that I must speak of ....Joel Zumaya. Zoom underwent career threatening shoulder surgery the other day. The story has been told that he was moving boxes at his parents house in California because of the wild fires and a heavy box fell on top of his pitching shoulder. He did not notify the Tigers until a couple days later and underwent surgery pretty much immediately afterwards. There has been a lot of skepticism with this injury though. First of all, why are you moving the bottom box when there is another box above it. It's pretty clear that pulling a box out from under another will cause the top box to fall. Secondly, we're not even completely sure the injury happened because he was moving boxes. There have been rumors that Zumaya was dirt bike racing on a ranch and might have fallen off his bike onto his shoulder. Clearly, this would piss just about everyone off in Detroit and cost Zumaya a lot of money, so naturally he'd come up with a good cover up story. There are two signs however, that point to Zumaya having told the truth about hurting his shoulder while moving boxes in California during the wild fires. A) The flames on his forearm were a sign of his demise from the day he got them tattooed on. B) I'm to blame... :-/ If you recall, I mentioned in a previous post in December that I wanted to burn down his game room so he could never play guitar hero again. Not only did I succeed in bringing the fire disaster, but I managed to get ZoomZoom seriously hurt in the cleaning efforts. I feel so Bartman right now so I apologize to everyone out there if the fires were in fact the true story for his injury.

I am going to move to Florida for a few days and think about what I've done. I don't think I'm to blame here, but I need a good few days of watching Oprah by myself before getting over this one if I am.



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