Posted by Bob Biscigliano
It's been over a month since my last post. Well that is just pathetic. But I do have a logical explanation. Way better than the explanation Jared gave about his "Everybody Poops" book he lied about writing. And my reason is this: I have been seriously distraught over the revelation that Angela's cat, Sprinkles, was killed. Okay, that is not the real reason because I didn't even find that out until a couple weeks ago, but seriously I am really sorry for not posting lately. I have had a tough month of playing Mario Heinz Ketchup with school work and partying my balllllls off after having taken the LSAT at the end of September. What?
So I wanted to get into this post by starting off with an apology, your acceptance of my apology and then follow that up with some questions that have been really picking my nose/brain lately.
1) Why is toilet paper's width the size it is it? Every roll of toilet paper has the same width and it bothers me. What if Elton John or Shaq need wider pieces of paper to wipe their respective large assholes? They shouldn't have to waste toilet paper and roll out more just to get their terdnuggets off their hole. I came across this question when I saw that commercial where the guy was sawing his toilet paper in half to make more toilet paper and save money. I thought that was a brilliant idea for him and anyone with a small asshole, like an 8 year old boy, Avril Lavigne or Chalista Flockheart. But what about the bigger or gayer dudes?
2) Will the Tigers aggressively seek and sign A-Rod???? First of all, A-Rod has to decide against the Yankees. After that, the answer is up in the air. I have heard from a source whom I will not name, that Dave Dombrowski will contact Scott Boras and work out negotiations pertaining to Alex. Dombrowski and Boras have had a good relationship in the past and it does not seem impossible. The main question is whether or not the Tigers will be willing to pay A-Rod big money or if they even have it. Clearly they could use a SS, or 3B even, but A-Rod's money demand and sexual orientation will be the deciding factor. I don't see it happening.
3) I realize I have been making a lot of gay jokes and references in this post so the last question is.... Am I actually the one that's gay? This answer is tough, but I think I might be. I listen to a lot of Justin Timberlake and I fancy myself walking the streets in a summer dress sporting a nice purple Coach purse. Actually, that's totally normal, so NO I'm not gay.
I'm such a nincompoop.
Lions are 4-2 and expect more posts discussing their road to the Super Bowl. Holler