Happy Birthday!!!!

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

Today is the birthday of my blog. A year ago on Halloween, I started the SOGGY BLOG to allow myself to write about damn near anything I felt like writing. Over the course of the year, the blog has changed names and turned into predominantly a sports blog that carries with it dramatized stories and sometimes pretty much flat out lies. In the 57 posts (about 1 post a week) before this, I have offended people, made terribly great jokes, gained 25 pounds of pure muscle without the use of anabolic steroids, and I have made this blog a collaboration with 2 other writers who have the same perfect physique as me, despite their lack of posts. All in all, it has been a great year of blogging and I plan on keeping it up while publicizing its name even further. Thanks to everyone who has read my blog over the year and I hope that you will continue to do so. If you don't, you can suck my balls (Cartman). Enjoy your Halloween, South Park tonight, and just so you know Jon Kitna's sorry for his naked man Halloween costume.

High Five!!!

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

Today Oprah lost a little weight, and the Detroit Lions picked up their 5th victory of the season...in week 8! At 5-2, the Lions are well on their way to making good of Jon Kitna's pre-season prediction of 10 wins and a trip to Arizona...during week 10. High five.

Here is another little story that no one else knows about, pertaining to the picture above. Rod Marinelli made a very Notredamus-like prediction during a press conference prior to Super Bowl 40. A news reporter asked him how many wins the Lions would have in the 2007 season after week 8. He raised 5 fingers and exclaimed, "FOUR." Very eery, huh?? High five.

Quips aside, it's exciting to be watching the Lions AB (after Barry) win again. We haven't made the playoffs since 1999 and we still have never won a Super Bowl. Since every other Detroit team has done something exciting in the past 4 years, I think it's about time the Lions do something worthwhile too. I get goosebumps listening to Dan Miller and Jim Brandstatter yelp out in excitement when the Lions win, as opposed to hearing the sounds of razor blades cutting through skin after a Scott Mitchell pass on 4th and goal at the end of the game goes sailing out of the back of the endzone. High five for that.

A-Rod took his first step to signing with the Tigers today. He has decided to opt out of his contract with the Yankees, 96 point 3 repeating, of course, percent sure ending his career with the Yankees. Although A-Rod said he would entertain offers from the Yankees still, Brian Cashman has adamantly said that the Yankees would not pursue A-Rod if he opted out of his current contract. A-Rod says he does not want to stick it out with his current Yankees contract because he says the make-up of the Yankees team has too many question marks that need to turn into $$ marks aka he wants to see how much he can make it rain in the free agent market. This all just means that the Tigers have found their new shortstop for the 2008 World Series run. I have heard Dave Dombrowski will work his 50 (million) cent magic stick with Scott Boras and get A-Rod to sign with the Tags. I'm still not exactly sure how I feel about A-Rod being in a Tigers uniform since I have made SO MUCH fun of him in the past. I guess we'll just have to wait until tomorrow, after he signs with us to find out how I feel. I'll sleep on it... in my peejays! High five.

The Red Wings have started the season red hot smokin' sweet. Zetterberg gets about 4 points a game and radio play-by-play guy, Ken Kal, has yet to crack his voice when shrieking HE SCORES!!! I'm not going to get too excited about their start though, because they have been the best team in the NHL the past few seasons and have choked in the playoffs. Either way, they have made a note-worthy start to the season. High five.

Speaking of Tampax, the Bawstawn Red Sox won the world series tonight, sweeping the Rockies 4 games to none. Middle finger.

GO CATS

Gimme Gimme....Gimme Hair!

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

It's been over a month since my last post. Well that is just pathetic. But I do have a logical explanation. Way better than the explanation Jared gave about his "Everybody Poops" book he lied about writing. And my reason is this: I have been seriously distraught over the revelation that Angela's cat, Sprinkles, was killed. Okay, that is not the real reason because I didn't even find that out until a couple weeks ago, but seriously I am really sorry for not posting lately. I have had a tough month of playing Mario Heinz Ketchup with school work and partying my balllllls off after having taken the LSAT at the end of September. What?

So I wanted to get into this post by starting off with an apology, your acceptance of my apology and then follow that up with some questions that have been really picking my nose/brain lately.

1) Why is toilet paper's width the size it is it? Every roll of toilet paper has the same width and it bothers me. What if Elton John or Shaq need wider pieces of paper to wipe their respective large assholes? They shouldn't have to waste toilet paper and roll out more just to get their terdnuggets off their hole. I came across this question when I saw that commercial where the guy was sawing his toilet paper in half to make more toilet paper and save money. I thought that was a brilliant idea for him and anyone with a small asshole, like an 8 year old boy, Avril Lavigne or Chalista Flockheart. But what about the bigger or gayer dudes?

2) Will the Tigers aggressively seek and sign A-Rod???? First of all, A-Rod has to decide against the Yankees. After that, the answer is up in the air. I have heard from a source whom I will not name, that Dave Dombrowski will contact Scott Boras and work out negotiations pertaining to Alex. Dombrowski and Boras have had a good relationship in the past and it does not seem impossible. The main question is whether or not the Tigers will be willing to pay A-Rod big money or if they even have it. Clearly they could use a SS, or 3B even, but A-Rod's money demand and sexual orientation will be the deciding factor. I don't see it happening.

3) I realize I have been making a lot of gay jokes and references in this post so the last question is.... Am I actually the one that's gay? This answer is tough, but I think I might be. I listen to a lot of Justin Timberlake and I fancy myself walking the streets in a summer dress sporting a nice purple Coach purse. Actually, that's totally normal, so NO I'm not gay.

I'm such a nincompoop.

Lions are 4-2 and expect more posts discussing their road to the Super Bowl. Holler

GO CATS

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