Kitna Promises 18 Super Bowl Wins in 10 Seasons; Harrington's Still Crying "Diaper Rash!"

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

So the Detroit Tigers season has been over for about a week now, after being swept up by John Smith and the Native American Tribe. Adding mean insults and salt to injuries, they lost to the KC Royals at home tonight (while the Yankees won in a comeback fashion faux pas) to pretty much solidify the fact that they'll be home in October purchasing Halloween candy for the children in their neighborhoods and not playing on Fox with Joe Buck's peanut butter mixed with velvet commentary.

The day is now Sunday as I continue this post....the Detroit Lions tried really hard vs. the Eagles today. Unfortunately, Scott Mitchell's nostalgia costed the Lions big time. Very reminiscent of 1995, we lost a nail biter, 56-21 (Jason Hanson missed a field goal). Jared's boiiii, Kevin Curtis went off on the Lions in the first half, breaking all sorts of records and disc players. He scored 3 TDs and had over 220 yards receiving in the FIRST HALF. During halftime he realized he's really white and not that good so he didn't produce barely anything in the second half. Donovan 10 piece McNugget also had a pretty good game. Despite the blowout to a team that wasn't even wearing their normal team colors, the Lions' players were very confident after the game. Roy Williams made it clear that he hopes to see the Eagles in the playoffs, while Jon Kitna pretty much said the loss was meaningless since the Lions will go undefeated at home this year and split the games on the road. That means we'll be 12-4 and well on our way to the Super Bowl.

Joey Harrington lost today to the Carolina Panthers. Despite the fact I go to school in Charlotte even though I don't really care about the SexPanthers, I was really pulling for Joey today. He has had a rough life and I'm really concerned that he might try and Owen himself. However, he puts it all on himself. For example, today at the end of the half he led an impressive Falcon drive into field goal range that would tie the game. The clock was running and the most common sense thing to do is call timeout when there is 3 seconds left so the field goal will run the clock out and the other team won't have any chance of scoring or returning a kickoff into field goal range for themselves. Needless to say, Joey thought it'd be fine to call timeout at 14 seconds. His coach ripped him a new asshole and Joey began to cry. Luckily, Carolina did not try and capitalize when they got the ball back with 11 seconds left. As Jared Smith likes to say every night before he goes to bed, "Dear Jesus, Poor Joey, Amen."

I'm gonna eat some goldfish and throw a nice fat dip in at the same time....

But seriously, laidher



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