Cardiac Jones Gets 300 Saves; Kitna says "2 up, 8 to go... bitches"

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

Todd Jones likes to party

Todd Jones closed out his 3rd consecutive game Sunday, in his favorite fashion, to pick up his 300th career save. He let the Twins come within 2 runs and let the game winning runs get on base before retiring the final hitter to record the save. The Tigers have now won 5 straight games, and 11 of 15 in the month of September to pull within 2 1/2 games back of the Yankees and 4 1/2 back of the Indians. The Tigers are in the midst of a HUMUNGOUSFUNGUS series vs. the Indians right now in Cleveland (Tigers are up 5-2 in the 5th). If the Tigers pull Sabrina's broom out and do some sweeping then they will be only 1 1/2 games back of the Indians and at worst still be 2 1/2 back of New York with about 12 games left to play in the season. If a sweep happens, I certainly like the Tags' chances of making the playoffs. However, I think anything less would make it hard to recover from because the Yankees have completely forgotten how to lose and the same thing goes for the Indians (except for when they play the Tigers or when the Tigers lose too). Either way, it will be fun watching my first ever Tigers September playoff chase considering last year it wasn't really a question whether or not we were going to make the playoffs, it was just a question of whether if it was going to be as Division winners or Wild Card winners.
As if things couldn't get any worse for the state of Minnesota (bridge collapsing, Tigers' sweeping, T-Wolves, state bird being the Common Loon), the Detroit "Future Super Bowl Winners" Lions defeated the "I'll have a MiniSoda, please" Vikings Sunday at Ford Field in a Michael Jackson thriller. Lions quarterback, Jon Kitna, made Christian Bale look like a school boy bitch as he took the team on his shoulder's and led them to victory. Allow me to elaborate....In the 2nd quarter, Kitna was getting tossed around like an expensive house salad and finally was hit so hard that he became concussed. I was watching the game at a Sports bar so I could not hear the commentating but the video feed looked as if something had happened to his eye. He came up with his hand inside his helmet and they showed trainers flashing a light in his eyes on the sideline. He appeared to be fine as he was standing on the sideline but something could have definately been wrong with his vision or something. SO, using my awesome assumption skills, I assumed he had his eye poked out by a very viscious valueless (V for Vendetta is a good moVie) Viking. Alliteration aside, I was upset and nervous that the Lions were being quarterbacked by JT OSullivan, a kid who was picked last in dodgeball during last week's gym class. The Lions were looking terrible on offense, but the defense was picking up the slack. Still, I knew the Lions were not going to win without having Kitna in the game. Sure enough, with about 8 minutes left in the 4th quarter and the game tied, Jon Kitna promised Marinelli that he was OK and that he was going to be sweet. Kitna came through. In 2 possessions in the 4th quarter he was 8-11 passing and put the team in position to win the game. A Roy Williams fumble and Jason Hanson missed FG almost lost the game for the Lions but the defense prevailed again in OT as they recovered a fumble around midfield. After that, Kitna decided to put the game in his own hands for the most part as he completed a pass to himself and converted a HUGE 3rd down by scrambling right for 6 yards and taking a rather large hit, giving him his 2nd concussion of the game. After a big run by Calhoun, Jason Hanson redeemed himself by knocking down the game winning field goal. Lions are victorious 20-17 and are clearly the best team in the NFL at 2-0.

As if the world didn't know how sweet Kitna is already, his performance yesterday was praised on today's PTI as gutsy, as opposed to insane. In addition to that, 3rd string quarterback, Dan Orlovsky told reporters that Kitna is the best quarterback in the NFL; way better than that actor for the Colts and the guy with the double chin in New England.



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