Posted by Bob Biscigliano
So I'm going to take the Akon route and place all the blame on myself, even though it's not my fault, for having not come out with a post in a me so horny long time. It is all because I have in fact been a bizzy bee, killing buzz studying for the LSAT and just having a good ole fashioned time being as lazy as the CVS cashier's left eye. Just so you know, a lot has happened since my last post....here are 5 major things.... 1) The Tigers have dropped to 5 1/2 games back in the Central and 4 games back in the Crazy Card race 2) Zac Efron turned 19 and has become a sexy hollywood beast 3) Jon Kitna led the Lions to a Johnny Drama Victory in Week 1 against Josh McCown, a former 2nd string Lion (that says enough about the Raiders). 4) Magglio has F'ed about 2,946,573 chicks 5) Jared Smith has done atleast 1,000 abdominal crunches
Anypooh, I want to stay HIV positive and talk about the things that make me happy about the Tigers. For starters, they have definately overcome a ton of adversity this season (injuries, Neifi Perez, the singing hot dog man, etc) and have still faired well. Right now, 4 back in the wild card and 5 1/2 back in the division, they still have a chance of catching the New York Gayguys and the extinct (no matter what anybody else says) Cleveland Indians. Actually, it could be a whole lot worse. We could be the Cincinnati Reds or Brittney Spears' kids. As Chip said, I'm so happy for what happened last year and still, to be watching meaningful games in September (other than Lions or Shock games) makes living so much more worth it. Owen Wilson knows what I'm talking about. (too soon?) Either way, I'm happy to be a Tigers fan and happy they are battling their asses off, holding onto Magglio's back for dear life, trying to get a ride into the playoffs. I'll be watching till the end of the world, no matter what.
Oh, I almost forgot...Michigan football decided to take a rain check on competing this season. Lloyd Carr has admitted to being old balls and wishes he was eating jello in a nursing home and not coaching a Division 1-A (debatably a 1-AA) program. Michigan is 0-2 and plays Notre Dame this weekend. Michigan's RB, Mike no Hart, has guaransheed a victory over the 0-2 Fightless Irish on Saturday. Luckily for him, Notre Dame has also guaranteed a Michigan victory and admitted that their Coach has agreed to take on the main part in Supersize Me 2; in addition to having given up on coaching too. MSU remains 2-0 and last I heard, Deon Curry is still dating Kristin Lowry, who was in Jared's advisory.
On to the NFL... the Lions take on the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday at 4 pm. Detroit televison will have a split screen viewing of that game and the Atlanta Falcons game so everyone can watch Joey Harrington melt under pressure at the same time as the Lions dominating. I guess melting under pressure for Harrington is a whole lot better than being Vick's bitch.
I need to go to bed... laidher