Posted by Bob Biscigliano
After Nate Robertson failed to record an out while giving up 6 runs on Tuesday against the Texas Rangers, reporters questioned his health. Robertson replied with, "There's no red flags. I'm not hurt. I'm good." After a 45 minute, closed door, meeting with Jim Leyland, Robertson emerged a new man. A new man that is now on the DL with a....drum roll.... tired arm. Not to say that a change didnt' need to happen, but c'mon meow. Robertson has lost 5 of his last 6 starts and they have been getting worse. Hopefully, Tuesday's start is the worst possible start ever because it'd be painful to watch something worse. Even my lone start this year was not that painful. I atleast recorded an out. Then again, if I was pitching against the Texas Rangers on that day I probably would have given up 7 straight bombs with a walk or two in the middle there. That's not the point. The point here is that Nate has been pitching shitty, hurt or not hurt. As a result, he will be on the DL for a minimum of 15 days. To me though, this will be a nice little time out for Nate, done so in a very professional manner. Leyland respects Nate as a human being. Thus, he does not want to embarass Nate (nor lose gum time) by sending him down for a 22 year old, so he's giving him some time to think about his mistakes, where he can still provide gum time too. This is the kind of professional treatment Mrs. Prost should have given my best friend, CJ, and I in 3rd grade for making obscene Beavis and Butthead comic strips. She didn't have to bring Barb and Julie into the equation, embarassing us miserably. All she needed to do was give us a little closed door meeting and let CJ and I, the mature 3rd graders that we were, figure out a reasonable punishment that coincided with our error in judgment (obviously, we were capable of making such a reasonable punishment for ourselves since we were making genius comic strips). I digress. If Nate is not in fact seriously hurt, (like Kenny was when they first diagnosed him with a tired arm) then Nate will have 15 days to think about how naughty he has been lately while a tired arm serves as the genius cover up.
I just wish tired arm could be a legitimate excuse for everything done shitty.
Here are some examples about what I'm talking about:
1. I lost the handwriting competition to Timo Hoefs in 5th grade because I clearly had a tired arm.
2. I didn't make the proper turn signal on my motor cycle because I had a tired arm.
3. Sorry I forgot our anniversary, hunny. I have a tired arm.
4. I ate the last doughnut because I have a tired arm.
5. I'm driving insanely drunk because I have a really tired arm....from holding up the funnel all night.
6. I'm peeping at the neighbor's daughter while she changes because I have a tired arm. Joe Mercier would be proud.
7. I'm naked because I have a tired arm.
8. Mom, I lost my expensive letter sweater back in high school because I had a tired arm.
9. I'm sorry I fucked your wife, sir. I had a tired arm.
10. Nate didn't shave the rest of his goatee because he had a tired arm.
Letterman would be proud.
Leave your comments with other things you could get away with because you have a tired arm.