Posted by Bob Biscigliano
On a rainy night in Detroit, the Tiggers started their 3 game set with the Baltimore hom-O's. In the top of the 3rd inning, with a guy in scoring position during a tied game, Jeremy Bonderman let one go that sailed toward Miguel Tejada's chest. His dumbass turned the wrong way and the ball sawed his bat in half. The ball bounced fair and Pudge threw him out at first. Tejada, very embarassed, decided to cry to his teammates that Bondo threw at him on purpose. Now, I understand it's debatable and there was beef between Tejada and the Tigers earlier this month, but I don't think you're going to throw 5 or so pitches to a hitter like Tejada and then just decide to hit him unless of course you're down 3-0 in the count with an open base. I truly think the ball just got away from Bonderman. However, Tejada's bitching infuriated a spine-less Daniel Cabrera. In the bottom of the 3rd, Cabrera decided to aim a pitch at the outside corner, knowing damn well his control is so poopy that the pitch would drill Sheffield in the back. Sheffield took it like a man and went to first. No biggie....until the 5th inning when PMSing Midol taking Tejada came to the plate with 2 outs and no one on, so Bonderman threw the first pitch at his vagina. Tejada dodged the pitch, yet his feelings were still hurt so he pointed the bat at Bonderman. Bondo, a grown man, did not back down and went toward Tejada. Pudge was not having any of Tejada's bitching so he started calling him a slut and other mean things in Spanish. The benches cleared. Zumaya (fresh off a talk with Mr. Rogers, who told him not to beat himself up about pitching poorly but beat others up) charged at anyone in sight. Sheffield yelled at Tejada to stop bitching because he didn't actually get hit, so Cabrera intervened again. After being held back, the game commenced with no ejections, a couple tears, and warnings. Then Sheffield made it rain. He faced Cabrera the following inning in the bottom of the 5th with Polly The Urinator Polanco on first. After killing an Orioles fan in section 139 with a foul ball on a 2-0 count, Sheffield took a Cabrera 2-1 cock shot for a 418 foot ride that he XZIBITed the shit out of. I haven't seen that kind of pimp job since Davidson 1B Alden Crissey's walk off vs. Furman earlier this year. Cabrera scowled at Sheffield as he jogged and barked around the bases. The bomb gave the Tags a 5-3 lead and led them to an 8-4 victory. Gooood night doctor, that felt good!
Although there were no punches thrown in the bench clearing brawl, I thought I'd just give ya a link to another great pic of AGay about to get his lights punched out. Man, do I friggin hate him. :)