Lions select Calvin Johnson and Drew Stanton; Order their Super Bowl Rings

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

The Detroit Lions selected another WR in the 2007 NFL Draft by selecting Georgia Tech's Calvin Johnson with the 2nd overall pick. This is now the 3rd WR the Lions have taken with their 1st round pick in the past 4 years. The newest C.J. of Detroit (the others being former Country Day student C.J. Rush, former Tiger C.J. Nitkowski, and of course the highly renowned world traveler Gigalo C.J. Karchon) finished his career at Georgia Tech having started all 38 games, ranking second in school history with 178 receptions and first with 2,927 yards (16.4 avg.). He also grabbed a school career record 28 touchdowns. Calvin was notified of the Lions decision to draft him before it was announced. The cameras showed Calvin tearing up, which many attribute to being drafted by the usually terrible Lions, but that's false. Calvin is very happy to be in Detroit. Today, he threw out the first pitch at the Tigers game and joined Rod and Mario in the booth around the 4th inning. Rod took another shot at Mario's speed joking that Mario claimed he could outrun Calvin. After Calvin expressed his excitement to be in Detroit playing alongside Roy Williams and Mike Furrey, Rod went on and on about how big Calvin's penis is and how he's a fine gentleman. Anyways, it will be really interesting to see how Mike Furrey, Roy Williams and Calvin work together. I'm assuming we will average close to 50 points a game.

With their 2nd pick the Lions traded up to get former Farmington Hills Harrison shorstop bum/MSU stud QB, Drew Stanton. Here are a couple stories I know about Drew Stanton. My freshman year of High School at DCDS we played Harrison in the District Finals. With 2 outs and nobody on in the bottom of the 7th, us trailing by one run, Brian Haveri battled back from an 0-2 count to draw a walk. Matt Collins followed by hitting an easy, very routine ground ball to Drew Stanton at shortstop. Instead of making the easy play, he decided to suck and let the ball go through his legs. Somehow, Brian Haveri scored from first after a OF miscue. Ryan Sylvester then roped a single to left to score Matt Collins. We celebrated. The following year Harrison got their pay back by beating us 10-0 in the District Finals. Stanton pitched, but he walked yours truly on 4 straight pitches. What a coward. That's right, I have a 1.000 on base percentage against present Detroit Lions quarterback. Pretty sweet. Finally, another story I've heard about Drew Stanton is that he possesses a Stid, called herpes.
Obviously, none of this should take away from the amazing things he has done as a quarterback. Drew was considered to be one of the top overall prospects in the state and one of the top 20 quarterback prospects in the nation coming out of high school and the third best QB in the draft. Now he will be learning from genius Jon Kitna and leading the Detroit Lions to multiple Super Bowls, naturally.
In other news, the Notorious INGE just hit a walk off bomb vs. the Twins, preventing a sweep. Let's rejoice with a 35 second dance party.


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