Kobe Scores More than Your Average Bear, Slut and College team Combined

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

As I'm sitting in the hotel watching the Florida Gators put it in the Albert Pujols of UCLA , two teammates of mine start arguing whether the NBA or College Basketball is better. Frankly, I'm for the NBA because of the Detroit Pistons. Nevertheless, this argument regarding which league is better became very heated. Here is a brief excerpt from this intelligent debate:

Teammate from North Carolina (arguing for college): I was watchin' an NBA game last naight. I forget which teams were playing.

Teammate from Denver (huge Nugs fan): Rockets/Lakers? Kobe was unbelievable. That was a great game.

College: Are you kidding??? It was horrible. I hate the NBA. They are all black and they don't care about winning.

NBA: Are you kidding??? College basketball is horrible. There are so many turnovers and missed shots!

College: Wait, how many college basketball players are black?

NBA: A few.

College: I guarantee I would like the old NBA more than the new NBA.

NBA: Listen, the NBA is like this.... if you have an open shot, you're going to take that shot. If it's made, we're going to get it back. Like in baseball, if we give up 8 runs, we're going to score 8 runs to get them back. Less turnovers. More basketball. Let's watch a game together.

College: See...that's stupid! Nuggets suck, meeannn!

NBA: You're talkin in circles.

College: Just cause you don't appreciate college.

NBA: You're right, I don't appreciate it... cuz they turn the ball over.

The rest was pretty much the same bad talk....All I have to say in response is; yes, there are going to be missed shots and turnovers. It's a part of all of fucking basketball. It happens in both leagues. Allen Iverson, the human turnover, turns the ball over every other time down the floor. The other times down the floor he throws up a stupid shot that goes in sometimes. He's a great player though so I digress. Arguing that the NBA is better because college turns the ball over more is a Mugsy Bogus argument. Say the NBA is better because of Kobe Bryant or the white guys who stand out. Not because they don't turn it over. College basketball has its perks though, like Bobby Knight's tits.

All in all though, I'm a fan of both NBA and College.

Despite all this ball juice talk, I'd like to make a Guaransheed. Pistons win it all in 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2014.


Check that, Rogers will Miss 3 Months and Snack Time

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

There's more to Kenny Rogers' injury than just a 'fagged arm.' On Friday, he had surgery to remove a blood clot and fix arteries in his left shoulder. What was originally 15 days on the DL and missing only one start is now 3 months and an uber amount of starts. I bet now the Tigers are really regretting not luring Matt Croswell or John Eshelman away from their golfing contracts. Durbin will fill in for Rogers during his absence, but my guess is that Wilfredo Ledezma and Zach Miner "Morris" will be back in there at some point to start some games and/or eat some delicious innings. Being that Rogers is 42, it may be a while before he gets back in game shape and some sources are saying this surgery may be career ending. I don't think Rogers will allow it to end his career because he's a competitor and he does what he wants; he rolls with 12 gangs. No injury will end his career. His career will end after we win the World Series next fall. Either way, the Tigers are essentially missing a starter out of their rotation. Regardless, I don't think there's any reason for panic. At worse, Jeremy Bonderman will throw every game and win 100 of them.

Monday is Opening Day and the next best thing to being in Detroit is being in my appartment in North Carolina watching on MLB.tv. I just recently renewed my season subscription for 80 bucks. This won't keep me from attending games live though. I already have it planned out that I will be home for the Native American series at the end of May and will be traveling to Atlanta for the June series with the Cowards. I can't wait to see Verlander and Maroth hit bombs off of Atlanta's minor league pitching staff (aside from Smoltz and Hudson).

Speaking of bombs, I have to poop.


Rogers Will Miss First Start

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

Bad news came out of the Detroit Tigers camp today when they announced that Kenny Rogers will miss his first start. According to sources, he is ailing from the man's version of a menstrual cycle. In other words, he has a tired arm. Today, I heard someone say, "Oh, he must of hurt it shoving that camera." I didn't have much to say to that person's stupidity. I just shook my head and said "Lord have mercy on your soul."

I digress....Kenny is a cornerstone to the Detroit Tigers' pitching staff. Last year, he helped the youngsters develop the proper mindset for pitching, how to approach pitching, and helped them get laid. Oh, he also won 17 games in the regular season and threw a thousand consecutive scoreless innings in the playoffs during which he fist pumped after every single pitch while yelling, "Fuck ya. You can't touch my tits."

Chad "Not TOO Bad" Durbin will take Rogers' spot in the rotation until he returns. Although the Tigers say he should only miss one start, you always have to figure they are just trying to keep us die hard fans from being nervous Nelly's Furtado. I guess we'll have to see how long the old arm is bothering him.

In other news, Mr. Rogers (picture above) from Kenny's Neighborhood died 4 years ago. He died on a Thursday. Rest in Peace.


Detroit4lyfe's Tipsy Tips on Fantasy Drafting

Posted by Bob Biscigliano

It is right around that time for fantasy baseball drafts to take place. Here is 10 quick guidelines to all your fantasy drafting concerns according to ESPNs Peter Gammons....

1. Sleepers are good but hopefully you get some players who are awake too.

2. Neifi Perez will not be a good pick....for the 35th year in a row

3. When in doubt, pick a Detroit Tiger or former Tiger. Good picks from the past and present include: Chad Curtis, Luis Gonzalez, Tony Clark, John Smoltz, David Wells, Phil Nevin and Shane Halter. (Shane can fill up your needs at all nine positions)

4. Sean Casey will not hit 20 bombs but is good if you are in a league where you profit from slap hitting first baseman who are really really nice guys.

5. Nook Logan landed himself a job elsewhere. He might be a reasonable pick up if Neifi Perez is already taken.

6. It is okay to pick up Jamie Walker...he might of sold out for the big money but everyone needs a crafty lefty on their staff. If Jamie is unavailable in the early rounds, go with Matt Croswell as a safety fall back option.

7. Avoid all White Sox players. I heard Bobby Jenks ate most of them.

8. If you have second pick overall and Todd Jones is gone, it might be safe to pick Joel Zumaya. Guitar Hero 3 does not come out until next fall and I hear he has improved his control and added 5 mph to his fastball.

9. Roger Clemens is a real solid pick. K'ing his son in BP will work wonders for your rotisserie style leagues.

10. Mike Maroth is always an easy and logical solution to perfecting your pitching staff.

Opening Day: 107 hours away from now



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