Mark Coury Steals Kurt Rambis' Identity, Then Lands Roster Spot @ UK

Posted by Bob Biscigliano




Detroit Country Day alum, Mark Coury has done the unthinkable in the past few years. He transferred into the most prestigious high school basketball program in Michigan, stole Kurt Rambis' identity, played catch with me during his varsity baseball tryouts, didn't make the team, then decided to improve at basketball, and now has walked on to the University of Kentucky's basketball team after surfing the internet with his dad looking for top programs around the nation that were thin at the forward position. What a sports nut huh?

The biggest turning point in Coury's career was stealing Kurt Rambis' identity. For those of you who do not know Kurt Rambis, I will tell you a little about him. He played fourteen seasons with the Los Angelas Lakers while sporting the number 31 for most of them. He's not known for his scoring abilities or basketball at all really. Fans typically know him for his hard work and big, goofy, thick black goggles that most refer to as sexy specs. Recently, Billy Joe Cuthbert commercials have recaptured the glory of Kurt Rambis and his days of blocking little boys at local gymnasiums and challenging players to one-on-one freestyle battles. To make it simple, Kurt Rambis was a white NBA basketball player who looked and played like a Snerd. He also appeared in Weird Al's 'White and Nerdy' music video. He has been a hero to aspiring athletes like Mark Coury. Even me...I wore sexy specs when I played AAU basketball for a few years. I played significantly worse and got made fun of more, but I still wore them and kept my chin up. I got through it. Now I wear contacts and am a candidate for lasic when I graduate college. I thank the goggles, carrots, and Kurt Rambis for that.

Anyways, Mark Coury has a lot more to thank Kurt Rambis for. He can thank him for his identity. Mark Coury entered Detroit Country Day with nothing but his daddy. He left as Kurt Rambis. During high school, he sprouted to Rambis' 6'9", developed a sub par post game, purchased ridiculous goggles, wore them all the time, sported Rambis' number 31 in his summer league, entered the glee and chess clubs, and managed to keep away from making a lot of friends. Little did he know, Kurt Rambis' identity and his dad would eventually help make him an All-Stater and land him a spot on the UK basketball team. But not before a tedious process of him and his dad hitting the Yahoo! search engine. After turning down offers to minor D1 programs, Coury and his dad put on their bathing suits and surfed the internet together looking for bigger programs that were in need of white big men. After realizing every program needs a hard working player that fans can cheer for and relate to (because he's white and probably just as bad as your Uncle John), they picked University of Kentucky. After being accepted, Coury and his dad decided that Kurt Rambis' identity was not going to cut it at a cool school like UK so they gave him it back. Coury no longer sports the goggles all the time like he did in High School and apparently picked up a few new talents. When he was asked how he liked it at UK so far, he replied, "Theres like a buttload of gangs at this school that want me to join cause Im pretty good with a bowstaff." Unfortunately, the bowstaff and numchuck skills won't help Coury's playing time. Coury hopes to log more than the garbage minutes he's played in so far during Kentucky's exhibition games. Either way, I'll be rooting for him and watching closely. Who knows? Maybe one day he will block a Shane Battier jumpshot in the NBA, high five, and everyone who knows the two will have a good giggle. Kurt Rambis would be proud.

I'll end my post with a sign I made in High School for one of Mark's games. It was more of a knock on the team we were playing since they had a former Country Day player on their team. He was kicked out of Country Day for stealing student laptops and was not eligible for the game.

Tickets to the game.... $5

Soft drink... $1.50

Hot dog... $2

Watching Mark Coury dunk while Alex Credit plays on my laptop at the end of OLSM's bench...Priceless

Our headmaster frowned upon it. Ok I'm done.

GO CATS

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